I just came in from taking Chloe dog for a walk in a very light, misty rain. Got a load of laundry going and made the bed, then poured myself a cup of coffee and the two of us are sitting here by the big front windows. I am feeling low today...I don't know why. Well, I do know why, actually. I went to some Hysterectomy Support message boards, just to see what they're all about. I wish I hadn't. There are women still bleeding several months after their surgeries. There was one woman whose entire vagina fused together due to ahesions. There was one woman who now has rampant acne. I went in search of positive results and came away freaked out and wondering if I'd made the right decision for myself. Maybe it's just the women who have horror stories to share who come to these boards looking for support. All I want to know is if the symptoms I'm experiencing are normal or not.
I took a mirror yesterday and looked at my incision scars. I'd only looked at them once before, when I first got home from the hospital. They're completely healed now and are about an inch long, if that. I marvel at the fact that anything inside could've been removed thru them! I went thru the itching stage a couple of weeks ago but that seems to have passed. I really don't 'feel' them at all now. It's the internal stitch area that bothers me. It 'pulls' if I move in certain ways. I told Dear Hubby it's like fingernails going across a chalk board...it bugs me to no end and yet there isn't anything I can do about it except squirm around until I'm comfortable. I guess it's normal? We've made plans to go away for a long weekend around the 15th of May and I'm wondering if I'll be able to handle sitting in our truck for the 3 hour drive without going crazy. I'm hoping by that time the 'pull' sensation, the discomfort of sitting upright for very long, will ease up by then.
I guess I should focus on the positives. Three weeks after surgery, I am now walking Chloe dog at least a couple of miles every day. I've lost the foggy, sloggy-brained vapory feeling in my head from the anesthesia and am venturing a little further in my driving now. I'm capable of taking care of the house, tho at a slow pace. Sleeping is much more comfortable now and I've been averaging close to twleve hours every nite. Every day I feel stronger. Every day I have a little more stamina and don't tire out as quickly. Every day there is improvement, improvement I can see and feel. I guess it doesn't always pay to look for information. Maybe, in some instances, ignorance is bliss especially if I'm not having any problems that I know of. I just never dreamt at the age of 54 recovery would come so slowly. I am not a patient person.