I have always loved to write. I have always poured out my heart in whatever I've written. I have written thousands of letters in my lifetime. Probably thousands of emails as well. Poetry. Lots of short stories. Sunday School curriculum for Primary aged children. A play and a song for a Sunday School Christmas program that's been used several times. And now...blogging. Between my original blog and this one I have written 1170 entries so far. Having a weblog has been the perfect outlet for me. I can type almost as fast as my mind thinks so I don't end up becoming as frustrated as I did with the old-fashioned hand-written journal. Good penmanship has always been important to me so I never have been one to sit and scrawl and scribble anything that means something to me, that I wanted to keep as a permanent record of sorts. I am happy with this font. I am happy with how I can browse around the internet and find clipart or photos or quotes to illustrate whatever my topic is. I never had that luxury with old spiral notebooks or cloth-covered journals. I am left-handed and the inconvenience of the spines of notebooks/journals being awkward for me used to discourage me too, after a while. That, and pens that smeared as my hand would drag across the paper. Whenever I've come across pens that don't smear, I hold on to them like they're made of gold. You have to be left-handed to understand that.
Now I'll get to what I want to write about this evening. As tired as I am I'm hoping if I come back and read this tomorrow morning it'll make sense to me. But I ran across this comment in an article I read about blogging....Christian blogging in particular....and it's been haunting me ever since I read it:
“If all I knew of the Church (the Christian Church in general) was what I read of it in blogs, I would never attend one for the rest of my life.”
Ouch. Oh my.
Do people feel that way when they come here and read my blog? My Christian faith is the cornerstone of my life and, whenever moved to do so, I write about it. I write about it without apology. I am who I am and my faith is as much a part of me as my hair color and my size 9 1/2 feet. Once upon a time it consumed me, before my epiphany year in 1999. But thru one of the most difficult years of my life, a very patient and loving God finally helped me realize that for me, at least, it was more important to incorporate it into my life than to let it dictate my life. Now, there are probably a lot of people out there in the Christian realm who don't have a clue what I mean by that and I'm not sure I can adequately describe it but I'll try:
I wake up in the morning and I step out on to the back porch and I look up and see Orion's belt and Venus sparkling in the pre-dawn sky and I feel joy in knowing I've awakened to another day on this Earth, come what may. I know God's grace will see me thru whatever He allows to cross my path that day.
I open my heart to everyone around me. I can't limit myself to just those of my like faith. I did that for way too many years and it stifled and suffocated me. There is something lovable in everyone. Everyone was some mother's child at some point in life. Sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper to find it.
I talk to God like most people talk to everyday people. It's a constant monologue inside my head. Sort of goes with the scripture about "praying without ceasing". These are my prayers that go on in all my waking hours. But not formulated prayers. I talk to God like I'd talk to my best friend. He is my dearest, most precious Friend of all.
The Bible is not my favorite 'book'. My Bible is my lifeline.
When I tell someone I'm going to pray for them, I pray for them.
I really do try to walk in another person's footsteps and try to understand what they're feeling or thinking. I care for them and worry when I know bad things are happening.
Since the arrival of my grandchildren I am truly learning to see the world again thru their eyes and....oh, my....but what a wonderful world it still is out there, warts and all.
My life is what I make of it. My life has only so many days in it and I may not know how many, but I want to make each one count.
It takes no more effort to be kind and friendly than it does to be mean and surly. I've read it takes more muscles in the face to frown than it does to smile. You'd think the way we humans like to look for the easiest way to do things, we'd choose to smile over frowning but that isn't always the case, is it?
And, most importantly, I try never to judge. I try to accept everyone at face value. I try not to let other people's opinions influence me. I like these words of Lyle Lovett:
I love everybody
I love everybody
So if you feel lonesome
Remember it's true
I love everybody
Coming out of so much darkness in my early years, the blackness of my heart, the evil things I did...God took me in unconditionally. Who am I to think I'm any better than anyone else? I'm nothing more than a sinner saved by grace.