Well, let's see how far I get with this post. As I sit here on the couch I'm looking out on my busy bird feeders...it's like Grand Central Station out there. I added a hummingbird feeder on Saturday and I don't know if it's the same little Anna hummingbird that comes several times thru the day or several...they all look alike to me. But whether it's one or ten, I love watching them at the feeder. A lot of house sparrows are coming to my other feeders right now, and there was a big brown woodpecker that tried to get on the largest feeder the other day without much luck. Same thing for the big fat squirrel that managed to get down on to the roof of the feeder but couldn't manage to hang on to the slippery plastic and reach for seeds at the same time. Pretty soon he lost the battle and ker-plop...down he went.
My whine session last nite? It was mostly about me beating myself over the head again with Grandma/Mother guilt...having a hard time saying no when it comes to my kids. I don't care how old they get, your kids are forever your kids. I hate to disappoint them but this is one time in my life where, for my own well-being, I needed to say no. My son and his wife are missing Dylan terribly - as we all are - and my son called yesterday asking me if I feel up to taking care of Dylan yet. If I did, they were going to fly down to Dallas and bring Dylan home. Ai yi yi. Well, as much as I'd love to have him back home here, I'm definitely not up to taking care of him just yet. I have GOT to heal. So I asked if they could give me the rest of this week before they go get him. My son said Dylan's heading home late next week anyway so if I wasn't up to it yet, they wouldn't go get him. No, I'm not up to it yet. As hard as it was for me to say it, I did. You know what's funny, tho? As I've gotten older I've learned how to say no but I haven't learned how to be comfortable with it when I do. That's where the guilt comes in. But after two major surgeries in the past 6 months, for once in my life I need to be selfish and give myself time to heal. I just wish people wouldn't tell me one thing, then turn around and change their minds on me. Then I feel like the 'bad guy' when I put the kabosh to it, even tho the original terms were satisfactory for every one involved. *Sigh* But at least they understand and my son told me not to feel bad about it. Even so....I still feel bad.
Ouch. I just checked Dear Hubby's 401K balance and it's about $1300 lower than it was a week ago. All the numbers are in green tho, so that's a good sign. It must've been lower than this balance yesterday. I dunno about the rest of America, but I often wonder just how dire things really are. The media gets a hold of something and works it like a dog with a bone, getting everyone so stirred up and frightened. Not only with the economy but with everything they focus on. My friend Kathie in Australia has told me many times she doesn't even bother to watch the news and sometimes I think that's a pretty wise move. I get so tired of the gloom and doom. I get sick of politics. In fact, we're thinking very seriously about getting rid of Dish TV and getting a converter box. Why spend $70 a month when Dear Hubby spends most of his evenings channel surfing and complaining, "There's nothing to watch on here!" Both he and I are of the generation just before cable TV when there wasn't much beyond ABC, CBS, and NBC to choose from. And you got up and walked over to the TV to change channels or turn the volume up and down. There wasn't the channel surfing there is now, that's for sure.
I've been getting out and doing a lot of walking. What a difference, pushing 20-pound Cooper in a single stroller compared to him and 50-pound Dylan in a double stroller! The rains will be socking us in before long so I'm trying to get out as much as I can. Even thru our damp winters I try to manage to get out between rain showers. And walking in temperatures around 25 or 30 degrees doesn't deter us, either.
I'm preoccupied. Got a lot on my mind this evening. So I'll call it quits, I think, and relax a bit before going to bed.