I am not comfortable being a leader. Therefore, after having a "follower" list on my sidebar for a short time, I took mine off. Funny how some of the new gadgets on Blogger get my attention when they first appear and then, after I've had time to think about them for a while, I eliminate them. But this morning I noticed I have 9 followers. That's down from 11 a long time ago when I last noticed that particular statistic on my log-in page. Oh, dear! I once read the header on someone's blog a couple of years ago that stated: "Read by tens of people everyday". That's not even true for me anymore. I'm slipping, folks! HA!
I hardly ever notice the time of day anyone posts but check my time out -- 7 am! That's almost unheard of for me. Can you guess I'm 'childless' today? Tomorrow is Dylan's 3rd birthday so my son and his wife took today off from work to spend a family day together. I don't know what their plans are but I do know mine: nothing structured. Maybe nothing at all. I had Dear Hubby wake me up just before he left for work and then spent some time watching the latest episode of "The Biggest Loser", fast-forwarding the boring parts, while I ate my breakfast. Having been a yo-yo binge & purge food addict emotional eating dieter most of my - younger especially - adult life, I can surely identify with a lot of the issues these contestants talk about on there. I am always especially thrilled when I see the end results of those who are voted off and continue on their own to lose the excess pounds. I hope most are able to keep those pounds off but when statistics tell you 95% of weight losers usually gain all - and more! - of their weight back eventually...well, I'm hoping that's not true of these people. One particular part of this episode really hit me between the eyes because even tho I've managed to maintain the weight loss I had last year, I still have a tendency to 'reward' myself with occasional binges of some foods I really like. And then, when I wake up the next morning feeling bloated and 'sludgy' and sluggish, I could kick myself. Luckily, with the lifestyle I have right now, I do so much walking and I'm so constantly on the go with my grandsons, I seem to be able to burn off whatever extra 'poison' calories I consume. But why...WHY?!...can't I seem to break that binge mindset? They say being a food addict is like any other addiction, tho, and it's a continual never-ending battle to overcome the temptation of whatever vice it is that has a hold of our lives, our minds. If an alcoholic or drug addict or gambling addict feels the same way about their habits as I do about mine, I think I can say I understand just how hard it is for them to overcome theirs. Dear Hubby, a man of almost steel-like self-discipline, doesn't understand. At all. And that's why it's very hard for my daughter and me to get across to him it's a mind game. Certainly it has its physical appearances of the damage it does to our bodies but that's not what it's all about in a food addict's mind. It's being consumed 24/7 mentally about where our next food-fix is coming from. How we'll go out in the middle of a blizzard to buy a half gallon of chocolate ice cream if that's what we're desiring, we're craving it so badly. Or stashing food items away in the craziest places where we know no one else in the family will look -- like the dryer or behind the stack of sheets in the linen closet. In our underwear drawers. Bleccchhhhhhhh. Well, one thing I'm learning...if I crave something, I try to make it something that won't 'hurt' me as much as my choices in the past did. For instance, instead of sitting down and eating a pound-bag of MnM's at midnite, washed down with a Pepsi, I might make myself an extra bag of 100 calorie popcorn. But still, that's not what it's all about. It's about why do I have to eat it in the first place?!?
I got a notice in the mail from my primary care doctor the other day, reminding me it's time to go in for my annual Pap smear. I got a good chuckle out of that. I have nothing left that needs that exam anymore. No periods for a year now! Life doesn't get much sweeter than this, let me tell you!