Friday, April 24, 2009

On a Clear Day

This week I read a blog post and it hasn't, in itself, stuck with me. What has stuck with me is a comment written to me by the author in response to a comment I'd made about the post's subject. I wasn't offended by it. My feelings weren't hurt by it. But it's given me a lot to ponder. About faith. This is the comment:

"It saddens me because spirituality isn't reality based. It's fantasy based."

Now, how does this person know that?

Doesn't this person know me well enough yet to realize I'm not the type of person who'd base the most important beliefs of my life for the past 32 years on fantasy? That it's an insult to my intelligence to say such a thing?

What is so ironic about this is once upon a time I felt exactly as this person did about 'organized' religion and Christians. I was sanctimonious and smug and fully convinced that my lack of any faith or belief in God's reality was the right opinion, the only opinion. Because it was my opinion. I delved deeply into satanism and various aspects of the occult for seven years. I sat back and smirked and snarked and belittled Christians. I loathed their hypocrisy. I blasphemed the concept of God in ways that I look back on now and wonder why He didn't strike me dead on the spot.

This person needn't feel sorry for me. And I hope, if they come by and read this, they realize this isn't pointed at them in a harsh way. It's, not at all. What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that none of us should try to pigeon hole another person's beliefs or lack of belief, to judge them by what they believe or what they don't. That I don't particularly like being lumped into the masses, assuming my religious beliefs aren't reality. Sure, there are a lot of fantatical Christians. There are a lot of fantatical agnostics. And fanatical atheists. It all boils down to which side of the mirror we're looking from. And from my side of the mirror the reflection of myself that peers back at me knows the Truth of what I believe in. Because, at the moment I began to believe, the changes in me were real. And what was 'old' passed away and never came back. Who I am now is not who I was then. Not even close. Not even in the same league. I am strong-willed and self-disciplined but I couldn't have carried this out for 32 years if it was based on fantasy. It would've been too much work, too much effort. And why put forth that much effort for something not 'real'? No...sorry. What I have isn't a hardship. It isn't work. It's my life and it's a wonderful life, a clean life. A good life. And, as I said in my comment to the blog's author, I feel very blessed to have it.


4evergapeach said...

Kris, what a beautiful, thoughtful, sincere answer. I don't think anyone could have responded more eloquently. And you know I feel the same way as you about my faith. God bless you friend! :)

Melissa B. said...

We've been dealing with spirituality issues in my household this week. I think faith is based in reality. It has to be.

missy moo said...

Hello Kris... Remember me?? I feel so bad about how long it has been sinse I have been in touch. It has been a pretty hectic few months BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel. It took 2 years but as of Friday I will not have to work with a person that had me so wound up and stressed. She is leaving to go to another store SO it leaves just 3 of us, but we get on brilliantly and have such a good laugh.
Hopefully now I will have more time to get on here and be able to write you a descent email to catch up on all the news.
Love seeing photos of the boys. Gosh they have grown up so quickly. I remember when you told me for the first time that you were going to be a grandmother- sheshhh where did all those years disappear to.
Anyways, promise to write soon. Love to all
Missy Moo

Liz said...

It is strange how fanatical in their disbelief some people are!

Suburbia said...

I'm glad you weren't hurt :)

Dori said...

I feel like all I'm doing is playing catchup these days so I'm a little late on this...

For what it's of the greatest lessons I've learned in my relatively short life is this--Just because I am Right that doesn't make you Wrong. There are so very few absolutes and so many questions have more than one correct answer. My reality may just be someone else's fantasy.