Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Windows



Do you know, one song line that has stayed with me for decades since I first heard it was from a Cat Stevens' song..."Sad Lisa", I believe it's called. The line is: "Her eyes like windows, tricklin' rain..." I guess it registered in my poet's heart. Or maybe because he could've written that about me back at that stage in my life. I knew how sad Sad Lisa was. Yes, indeed. Tho I rarely ever EVER cried...that'd been teased and ridiculed out of me years prior to hearing that song for the first time when I was a teenager. Here are the lyrics:


She hangs her head and, cries on my shirt

She must be hurt very badly

Tell me what's making you sadly?

Open your door, don't hide in the dark

You're lost in the dark, you can trust me.

'Cause you know that's how it must be

Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa


Her eyes like windows, tricklin' rain

Upon her pain getting deeper

Though my love wants to relieve her

She walks alone from wall to wall

Lost in a hall, she can't hear me!

Though I know she likes to be near me

Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa


She sits in a corner, by the door

There must be more I can tell her

If she really wants me to help her

I'll do what I can to show her the way

And maybe one day I will free her

Though I know no one can see her

Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa


Thankfully, Life After High School changed.


But lately I've been going thru a kind of lethargy. Mental lethargy. Emotional lethargy. Whatever. I've not completely given up on writing here, but I find myself thinking on-and-off thru the day about what I want to write about when I finally find some time at the end of the day, only to find so little time I feel pressured within myself and can't get my thoughts collected enough to write anything. So I write nothing. Or very little, compared to my epic posts in the past. And I know this is why I have this bottled-up restlessness deep inside. Writing has always been my comfort, my sanity-saver, my sanctuary, my place where I find ME! Well, lately there hasn't been much me-finding time and...oh!...how I miss it.


I reprioritized my mindset to find time to reprioritize my life. I was like a globe spinning out of control. I gave up a lot of things I liked, but right now, for a lot of personal reasons, that's ok with me. But I'm finding I've got to wedge in some me-time. I've got to! Or I'll be back to sitting in the corner by the door, waiting for someone to show me the way. I know no one can see me...not the me who counts.

4 comments:

Lynda said...

I love ME-time! Hope you find yours soon.

Dori said...

Me time is sooooo important. I find myself at my worse when I go without.

4evergapeach said...

I'm the exact opposite Kris. I have too much time that I am not using wisely. So on the one hand, like you, I need to reprioritize, but I need to get my little tush in gear and get to work on my house and yard. Hope you find a happy, healthy balance.

Judy said...

I can't write anymore.

I think it was easier for me to write when I didn't know ANYONE who read my blog. Now that I do, nothing comes.

Oh, well. I write for me.