Friday, October 30, 2009

Mind Puddle Potpourri....

I blogged recently about ear worms, those pesky songs you on Muzak in department or grocery stores, in elevators...that stick in your brain and go on instant replay for days at a time. I get plagued with them a lot, maybe because I have a trivia junk yard for a mind and I can remember the lyrics to songs from...oh...50 years ago. Today's lyrics? Fuhgeddaboutit. I don't even listen to today's music for the most part, as far as pop and all the other youth-oriented stuff goes. I don't think I've ever heard a Miley Cyrus song. Or Jonas Boys or Brothers or whoever, whatever they're called. I. Don't. Have. Time. But an old Beatles song? "Happy Together" by the Turtles? "Our House" by Crosby Stills & Nash? "Taxi" by Joni Mitchell? Oh, I could go on and on and on. But every now and then I'll catch myself singing something over and over again and I'll suddenly begin really listening to what I'm singing. And quite often it'll be something like this:

I will call upon the Lord
Who is worthy to be praised
So shall I be saved from my enemies
I will call upon the Lord
The Lord liveth and blessed be the Rock
And let the God of my salvation be exalted!

That one's been on spin cycle for several days now. And it's like maybe the Lord is dropping those words into my subconscious to work their way into my conscious mind and letting me know He's there for me. After a day like today, I need a little boost like that every now and then. More often now than then, let me tell you. But the day is over. It's Friday.

At one point today my grandson Dylan was racing himself back and forth, back and forth, from the couch in the living room out to the cupboards in the kitchen. I had to yell, "On your mark! Get set! Go!" And boy-howdy, how he went! One time as he reached the couch he flew into my arms and patted me heartily -- very heartily -- and told me, "I hit your back!" but I thought he told me, "I hit the old bat!" Well, I've been called things in my life time but never the "Old Bat". So when I was taken aback by it and said, "Old bat?!" He said, "No, hit your back!!" Oh. Ok, then. Maybe I better speed-order some Beltones after all....

A bittersweet moment for me last nite. I was reading a family member's Facebook and saw that one of my grand-nieces is getting married in January. I have never met this grand-niece. I probably haven't seen her mother, one of my nieces, in 25 years??? Good grief, I haven't seen any but one of my nieces in more than 17 years now. The one I saw a few years ago I haven't kept in contact with. Most of this lack of family closeness has been because of a deep rift that happened in 1992 and caused one of my brothers and his entire family to write off any contact with myself or my other two brothers. Some of it has been from me distancing myself away from it all. I don't know...I guess I had so much drama in my 'formative' years that I really don't want drama now. I am selfish with myself and with my time because I have so little of myself to give at this stage and so little time to do it in, outside of my life with my own family and grandboys. And sometimes I feel like I don't have enough to spare for even my own kids any more. At almost 56, taking care of two toddlers is pretty demanding. And I'm no spring chicken now. I mentioned to Dylan a while back when I creaked my way up off the floor for the umpteenth time that, "Grandma's old!" So now when we're out walking and a garbage truck goes by and he asks me to run after and catch it and I say, "No, darling...Grandma's too slow to do that." And he'll say, "Because you old, Mommy?" and I'll say, "Yes, I am." I am telling him the truth. Oh, yeah!!!!

I have nothing planned for this weekend. Nothing. Grocery shopping. Yippee. And a trip to the library to pick up "Homer & Langley", a new book by E.L. Doctorow. His "World's Fair" was one of my favorite books when it came out. I don't have a clue what this one is about. I hope I'm pleasantly surprised. I had 5 books checked out from the library and took all 5 back without finishing one of them. Am I that picky of a reader, or is there truly nothing much worth reading out there any more? Tomorrow nite is Halloween. Depending on the weather we may have a few trick-or-treaters. Our street is rather dark and has never attracted many little ones, tho, so I'm not expecting a flurry of them.

Ok. Enough tripping thru the murky muckiness of my mind tonite. I'm going to go lie on the living room floor, stretch out my back, and go to bed. I'm even boring myself.


Betty said...

You sound tired. But I understand why. Even though my life was really busy too, I think it´s different when it´s "just a job" where you leave at 5 and don´t have to think of it anymore. When it´s people you´re dealing with and family too, it´s totally different. I think you need a rest! :) Hopefully you can do that on the weekend.
I´m a really picky reader too. If a book doesn´t "get me" in the first few pages, it´s probably just going to lay there. I just started Angela´s Ashes yesterday. So far it´s good. We´ll see...

Mary Q said...

I remember saying something about my "being old" to my mom when I was just your age. She was around 80 then and she responded, "Oh honey, you're not old!" I guess it's just a matter of perspective and is all relative when it comes right down to it. Now I'm about to be 66 (UGH!) and there are sure some days when I FEEL old, even though my mom, if she were still here, would probably say the same thing she once said to me. I'm not ready for this "old age" stuff!