Friday, November 20, 2009

Give yourself the gift of life on your birthday...get a mammogram!



Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam
and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the
test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and
around your home.

EXERCISE ONE
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door
as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time
wasn't effective enough.


EXERCISE TWO
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and
chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.


EXERCISE THREE
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment
with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!


AND, just a thought for all the women out there........
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And
when we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra....

Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up, Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
(Sent to me by my friend Liz-in-California who I am SO THANKFUL is fine after some questionable results on hers! Love you, Liz!)

1 comment:

Blog Stalker said...

Very spirited post! Made me smile. I wanted to let you know I spotlighted you on my blog.


Have a great day!