24, 54, 36, 43...157 posts just in the past 4 months. Where do they come from, these words in my head?
I have a relatively new reader named Anita who's been leaving some lovely comments on my blog. Yesterday I actually had some time on my hands...as you can see from the amount of posts I put on here then...so I went over to Anita's to do some "Now it's MY turn to return the favor!" reading and take some time to get 'acquainted' with her. What a lovely site. And one of her posts about "Passion" really stuck with me. Because, like with her, writing is my passion. I have lived, breathed, loved, lived words my entire life. I have devoured them. I used to love to sit with my parents' huge old Webster's Dictionary sprawled across my lap and read pages of words in my quest to learn more, more, more. To learn where they came from, to learn what they mean. I still get a thrill when I stumble across a new one and have to go to Dictionary.com to find the definition.
But one thing I do know. I would literally dry up and die if I couldn't sit down here at my keyboard and let the streams of words that build up to the point of explosion inside of me flow out. Maybe it's from a lifelong build-up of words that were dammed up inside because my mind has always moved at the speed of light and my hand could never keep up with it when all I had at hand was a pen and paper. I grew frustrated and gave up on countless journals. But the day my daughter sat down with me at my new computer and showed me the cyber-world of blogging, the moment I clicked on "Publish Post" for the first time and saw my words up there on a screen for the world to see, I knew I had found my earthly version of heaven.
One of the definitions of passion is this: any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling. It also speaks of great suffering, as that of Christ on the Cross or of martyrs. Writing...blogging...falls somewhere in the middle of both of those definitions for me. It's powerful, it's compelling, and if I could never do it again I would suffer great emotional pain. I really would. It is the lifeblood of my existence at this stage of my life. It is my connection to the 'real' world out there since so much of my time is centered around the care of my grandsons. When I click on "New Post" I have come home.