Saturday, January 9, 2010

Writers' Angst....

I am not really a published writer. Not in the sense of any of my writing being in a book for the public to purchase, tho Dear Hubby says I ought to charge everyone who comes by and reads my drivel a dollar per visit. Since my mom died 20 years ago, he has been my staunchest, most loyal, supportive 'fan' in the world. If he had his way, I'd be on the New York Times bestseller list. Well, that ain't gonna happen. So I sit here and plunk away on my keyboard whenever I can find some spare moments and publish myself onto the worldwide web. I am inordinately pleased whenever I look at my little Feedjit thingy and see new towns, cities, countries pop up. Someone out there is 'reading me', even tho I'm none the richer for it. But that's ok. I'm not doing this to become rich and famous. I'm doing it because I love it. LOVE it!

I can not figure out how to get Blogger set up so that every comment makes it to my email Inbox. And so I'm sure there are plenty that I have missed in the past almost-5 years I've been writing on my blog. I apologize to any of those who come along and are brave enough to speak up and never hear back from me. That is unacceptable. But even tho I have my blog set up where everyone can comment...well, I guess they can. But I'm not always notified. The reason I'm addressing this is because of what my young bloggy friend Jaggy wrote about recently on her blog, about Followers and Lurkers. One of her commenters said she'd left comments before but Jaggy never responded. I could tell Jaggy felt bad about this. But I'm wondering if maybe Jaggy has the same problem and doesn't realize it, that those comments are never brought to our attention. It's not a very good excuse, but I know for me it's mostly lack of time that limits me to going back to what I've already written and looking thru the comments. I feel lucky enough to find time to write, let alone anything else. Even 'visiting' others is a luxury. So that is why I missed a couple written by "Anonymous" recently. I'm not even sure if Anonymous is one person or two different people. One comment was about my blog being a wonderful resource for spreading word about prayer needed for Baby Brandon. The other comment was about my writing:

"Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!"

I should be flattered...I am flattered. But then that old writer's insecurity welled up from deep inside. My older articles aren't so good? So that gnaws on me. And then I go to one of the referrals on my Feedjit that 'sent' someone here and one of my blog entries was listed on Portland's Top 10. And then I'm on cloud 9. And then tomorrow something else will trip me up. And then something else will stroke my ego. It is SO stupid! Why oh why do we question ourselves so much? I remember watching a TV interview that Laura Bush had back when her husband was President and whoever the interviewer was asked her, "How do you deal with the negativity towards your husband in the media?" Mrs. Bush's answer was: "I don't watch the news or read the magazine articles about him." You know, there is wisdom there. What we don't know can't hurt us. Some will say, "Well, that's like the ostrich hiding his head in the sand." True. But there's self-protection in there, too. Since this is a blog that is basically a journal for my grandsons someday, I guess I shouldn't even care whatever anyone else thinks. But the writer inside of me is hovering just under the surface and wants to know. It's a no-win situation.

To read that comment, it wasn't negative. It wasn't even bad. And constructive criticism is something we can all benefit by. But the writer in me...well, she's just going to have to learn to deal with it, isn't she?

8 comments:

lc said...

Five years!!!! That is wonderful. Anyone who makes any of their written words or results of other creative efforts available to others is choosing to make themselves vulnerable. So, it takes a certain amount of courage and determination to continue for five years. Kudos to you!

Donna said...

If you check your comments on your blog, you won't need to be notified, right? They're right here for everybody to read.
I often answer questions people ask in the same comment section; if it's a question others might have, I will sometimes do an entry addressing it. Or, I have been known to email the person.

Anita said...

It's true what Donna said, as I'm sure you know, but what if someone comments on a post written a year ago. You wouldn't know to go back to it and check for a comment.
I had that concern when I started getting a few followers. I would check the few posts that I'd written and would find comments on old posts. But when the number of my posts increased, I couldn't spend time doing that. Then I discovered "Comment notification." It sounds like you have it set up if you are getting some of the comments coming to your email in box.
What I also discovered, though, is that some of the comments go to a SPAM in box, and if you don't check it, you will miss those comments. Does your ISP allow you to see SPAM, or does it just trash it?
Let me know if I'm not explaining it well enough.

On the other issue - the person telling you that you are getting better...well, I've seen that EXACT same comment on at least four other blogs that I read. I was suspicious because all the bloggers, including you, are good writers, able to convey your feelings very well. So, I think someone out there is bored, or something???

Meadowlark said...

I wasn't going to say this, but honesty, even painful honesty, is my best (only) policy.

That "polite" comment has been seen - exactly as written here - on 5 other blogs I visit lately. Now, I am assuming someone is copy and pasting their words of positivity and I have no idea why.

But wait, I want you to know that I'm not making any negative comments on your writing. Moreso, I'm saying to write from your heart. That what anybody does or does not say or like about your writing has no value at all.

These are your words. Let them out and the rest of us be damned.

I'll probably delete this immediately. BUt wanted to put it out there.

Peace.

Dori said...

Wait a minute...that was a comment left over on my blog. Now that's just lazy! And I had pretty much the same response you did...what? really? and then...meh, whatever...thanks for stopping by. :)

I love your writing, Kris. All of it. It's consistently from your heart.

MissKris said...

Thanks, everyone. If that commenter was a spammer...what a weird message, eh?

Meadowlark said...

Perhaps a person who wants to leave positive thoughts... which I think is good. :)

Pam said...

Kris, here are the instructions for having comments sent to your email. Send me an email if you have questions.

1. Log onto Blogger Dashboard
2. Click "Layout"
3. Click the "Settings" tab (on top)
4. Click "comments" (right below the tabs)
5. Scroll down to "Comment Notification Email"
6. Type your email address in the box
7. click Save Settings (on bottom of page)

That's it.

Good luck!