Saturday, January 9, 2010

I'm a Facebook Fan of Oregon because...


You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.
You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.
You consider swimming an indoor sport.
In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark—while only working eight-hour days.
You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from California.
You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
You measure distance in hours.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall)."
Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them.
Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.
You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was.
Bonus for having been there.
You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a crime-infested jungle... OR ...You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
You know what is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it.
You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.
You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.
You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.
You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.
You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.
You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly.
You know a bride & groom that registered at REI.
If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.
Every day is casual Friday.
Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.
You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.
Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowners policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides.
You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.
Obey all traffic laws except "keep right unless passing."
Are amazed by an accurate weather forecast.
You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there....once...
You know that Burgerville has the best hamburgers...ever.
You have only used 5 main freeways/highways: I-5, 217, 205, 26, and 84.
You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively.
You know where Astoria is.
You think that the Beach is the best place to go for vacation, or just for a day off.
You love going to the Original Pancake House....because it's original....
You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.
You love the smell of rain.
You know the exact day you had school off because it snowed like....one inch.
You have been to camp 18...or just driven by it.
You listen to Kink FM 102.
You remember Ramblin' Rod...and you laugh because you used to watch it....or because you were on it for your birthday.
You are sad during Christmas because it never snows in the valley.
You know where the valley is.
You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.
You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.
You say "pop" instead of "soda."
You drive on 'the Banfield'.
You've been offered pot on Hawthorne.
You smile at people you don't know as you walk by them on the sidwalk.
You know you're from Oregon when people call you a hippy and you just smile because you can't hear them over the Grape-Nuts.
You make subtle remarks about Washington drivers, but save your real road rage for California drivers.
You know The Shane Company's radio commercial word for word -- "...Across the freeway from the Washington Square Mall...open Monday through Friday 'til 8, Saturday and Sunday 'til 5...also available on shaneco.com."
You've witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like it's no big deal.
You were thrilled that Scott Thomason finally stopped putting his face on the back of his cars.

4 comments:

Bridget Locke said...

LOL...I love it. And if that's not the truth, I don't know what is. :D

lakeviewer said...

Oh Lord, this is GOOD. Send it to the Oregonian, Salem, Portland Chamber. Everyone should read it. I will put a link on my post too.

p.s. the rain sent me here.

lakeviewer said...

p.s. please add a Followers Gadget so people like me can sign up. Otherwise, it's hard to find our way back in the dark and the rain and the snow.

Mary Q said...

That was great, Kris! And the photo was dazzling! Is there any way you can email me this so I can forward it to my friend who can then forward it to her daughter and son-in-law who fled back to Colorado a couple of years ago after living in Portland for several years? I know she'd love it! Thanks if you can!! :-)