I went to visit my friend Dori's blog this morning and she had written a beautiful post about the significance of one song in her life. It was inspired by this post at her friend Beth's blog, which I also went to read. And it's been on my mind ever since. I left two different song titles in their comment boxes..."Play Me" by Neil Diamond for Dori and "Loneliness" by Annie Lennox in Beth's. I'd be awfully hard-pressed to come up with just one song for 56 years of life on this earth. Awfully hard-pressed. Because music has been my salvation thru some of the hardest times in my life. It has always been there for me, even when people haven't been. And so I think I'm going to sit here and do some thinking and write about some songs as they come to my mind. I'll start off with the two I've already mentioned:
Play Me by Neil Diamond: Oh, I hear that song and I dissolve in puddles of tears. Every time. They bubble up to the surface and spill over and I have no control over them. Why? Too personal to put in to words in some aspects but others I can tell you, hearing them from this vantage point of Life, are knowing that my parents were both alive, that I was fresh out of high school and finding out that life outside of school was what I'd been hoping it would be...a new start in finding the 'me' who'd been lost to myself for the past 6 years. The hopes of a young woman setting out with stars in her eyes and dreams in her pocket. And, even at the age of 18 or 19, the deep regrets of some of the things I'd already done that I couldn't go over and redo, relive. But now, in hindsight, those regrets have turned into thankfulness. Without those experiences I wouldn't be who I am now. They taught me not to be so harsh, so quick to judge and condemn. To have compassion. A tender heart. Hard earned but well learned.
Loneliness by Annie Lennox: Was this woman peering inside my head when she wrote this song? Are we kindred spirits? Is she the twin who shared my mother's womb and never made it to see the light of day? I have no clue why this song resonates in my heart and soul like it does because I have such a blessed and wonderful life now. But it's funny how our past haunts us, isn't it? The hours, the years, when I was so alone. When I really had no one to talk to, to listen to me. To help me. I'm sure a lot of it was my own fault. I had trust issues. I had a lot of emotional scars that were inches thick. I didn't know how to let anyone in. So I put myself in a box and tucked the lid down tight. It took the right person to come along...Dear Hubby...to start peeling back the layers of scotch tape I'd wrapped around that box and help me see that yes, there still is happiness to be had in this world.
Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin: As a mother, I thought I understood this song. As a grandmother, I know that in my young years I didn't even have a clue what it was all about.
Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce: This was one of 'our songs' when Dear Hubby and I were dating. It's timeless. It means more now to me 36 years later than it did when we were young lovers. Sooooooooooooooooooo much water under the bridge....so many hard times and good times.....sickness.....loss of loved ones.....babies born.....grandchildren. And, with finding the Lord in our young years -- I was a young mother of 22 with an infant daughter 33 years ago -- I'd say the odds of us doing this are pretty good:
"If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you"