Friday, April 30, 2010

Oh, be careful little mouth what you say...




Several years ago there was an incident that involved my family. To this day, we are still dealing with the repercussions of words that were said with little thought by a person who really had no business in speaking up in the first place. It caused deep hurt, confusion, anguish. It altered a loved one's life. I don't know if that loved one will ever be the person they were before all this happened. I don't think the person who spoke up has a clue the damage they caused, the life-altering affect it had on this loved one of mine. But I know. I know.


The unbridled tongue. It's also called the unruly member. We humans have very little control over it, have you noticed? How often do we speak up, thinking we're being 'funny' or 'amusing' at the expense of someone else's feelings? How often do we put our 'two cents' in and don't think thru what we're saying ahead of time? Why do we give advice when no one's asked for it, or voiced opinions by sticking our nose into conversations we're only peripherally involved in? Do we weigh what we say? Do we plunge in? Do we end up regretting what we say? Or are we clueless?


I've written a couple of times about an older gentleman I knew several years ago. A wonderful, wise, and gentle man. A gentleman of the finest kind. He had an almost unheard of reputation of being a man who never said an unkind word about anyone. If he had nothing nice to say about someone, he wouldn't say anything at all. He'd smile benignly and remain silent. I have failed at times, but he is one of the best role models I've come across in my life and I have tried to follow his example. And since crossing his path in life and watching him in action, when I do slip and say something not particularly nice, Lloyd comes to my mind almost immediately. And I will apologize and ask for forgiveness. I am, after all, only human.



"Make somebody happy today. Mind your own business."


~ Ann Landers ~

10 comments:

Everyday Kathy said...

This is a terrific post! I try to abide by this as well... and fail sometimes. I hate the feeling when I know I should have kept my mouth shut. Thanks for the excellent reminder.

Kathy over at Everyday Bliss

Donna said...

Have you told Lloyd about the influence he's had on your life? You should.

That corgi :) said...

years ago my mother-in-law said something to me that unfortunately altered our relationship to this day and sadly I don't think she even realized what she said and the impact it would have on me. I kept it secret for years from my husband and when I told him just about a year ago, he was sad his mom said such a thing to me but didn't think it was against her character. I think that's why the Bible says so many things about the tongue and controlling it because it can cause so much pain and suffering and then another day later the same tongue praises God. We do definitely need to remember to control that tongue and words of ours

betty

Betty said...

Very good post Kris! This is a mayor stumbling area in my life. I am so spontaneous and too often say things that hurt other people (especially my husband). It´s something I´m working on and hope that someday I will be able to "master". Thanks for the reminder!

Jayne said...

Oh if only people realised the power of their words... although the worst folk are the ones who do know exactly how hurtful they are and say it anyway. How lovely to know someone like Lloyd. I do try and be mindful with what I say, and sometimes over-think my responses, which can leave me rather quiet!

And thank you for coming by my blog! You have a lovely profile pic, and I love your blog header. The lovely sea! :)

bettyl said...

It is truly sad that people don't think before they speak. I have found that, even when confronted, those that speak hurtful things sometimes don't--or truly can't--comprehend the hurt they cause.

Yes, we do need to watch our words. We also need to be more forgiving of how we take them.

JOE TODD said...

"Restraint of tongue and pen" is a daily mantra of mine, Great post

Loretta said...

So true! Words from 50 years ago still bring such pain. Out of no where...Words no one even gave a second thought too, but are still there, ready to ruin my day.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I've never had the courage to say really nasty things TO someone, but yes, I've been known to gossip behind someone's back. I'm glad to say I do much less of that lately. I hope its because I've developed better character, and not just because I have fewer opportunities!

Ronnica said...

Sins of the tongue are a theme in my life, sadly. I think that's why I enjoy online communication so much...I have time to think through what I want to say and use the just-right words.