I read a very disturbing blog entry last nite. I'm not even going to link to it because it spewed out so much poison and venom from a very mixed-up mind. It was about a person who 'converted' to atheism. I find it ironic how, even tho this person no longer professes to believe in God, the entry was laced with scriptural verses and sayings. And I also found it very cowardly that the comment section is closed down so no one can 'congratulate' them on their new-found faithlessness.

Oh well.

Let me just say that I'm glad that person isn't me.

I could use a few chuckles...how about you?

A reporter was interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

An accident really uncanny,

Befell an unfortunate granny.

She sat down in a chair

While her false teeth were there,

And bit herself right in the fanny!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. "Hardly worth going home, isn't it?"

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns.

"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Rita Rudner

The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude. ~ Voltaire

I got an email from an old friend of mine today with photos attached. One showed mostly snow. Didn't think any of you who've had more than your fair share of that stuff would be interested in seeing more. But these...well, let me tell you a little bit about them. It's out in the middle of nowhere in south-central Oregon. She and her companion lived in the wall tent that's snowed in in the top photo for several years..slowly building a cabin out of all kinds of things they were able to salvage. The picture below looks out towards the pole shed where they park vehicles. Their 5 acres are at the end of the grid...electricity stops at their place. There are thousands upon thousands of acres of timber land around them owned by a private timber company who plans on leaving the land as just that...timber. No logging, no housing developments cropping up. No neighbors anywhere near them. They have no services. They cut their own firewood. They have internet access but it's abominably slow.

I dunno about you, but that doesn't seem like too much of a hardship. I think I could like living somewhere like that.

I've been visiting Betty again....

1. How good are you at delaying gratification? It depends on the types of gratification we're talking about here. Some I'm very good at putting off. I'm not one to buy much on impulse. Money comes with a lot of hard work and I don't like to waste it on something I'll regret buying 5 minutes after I've walked out of the store.

2. Maybe a marshmallow wouldn't be too difficult a temptation for you. What food (or anything else) would be most tempting? Chocolate calls my name. And calls. And calls...And don't think it's just a 'that-time-of-month' thing. I'm menopausal and have been for almost 2 years and it STILL calls my name!

3. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being saintly) how patient are you? I think I'm a pretty patient person. I asked Dear Hubby how he'd rate me, since he has to live with me. He gave me a 9! So I guess that makes me pretty virtuous if not saintly, haha!

4. Have you ever waited for something in life only to be disappointed upon realization of the goal/object/etc.? I don't think so. I'm a person who pretty much lives for the day. I never have set high goals for much of anything, outside of striving for peace and contentment. Material goals don't mean a hoot to me. I could care less what the Joneses have. I'm pretty happy with how my life is and can't complain.

5. Are you a person who takes shortcuts? Nope. I like things done well and efficiently.

6. Which line is hardest to wait in? The lines at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

7. Did you wait to discover the gender of your unborn child until its birth? Hello?? 31 and 33 years ago there weren't ultrasounds or any of the medical contraptions that gave out all that info. We relied on the Ajax test if we wanted to know and even that wasn't very reliable.

8. Are you more patient with children or the elderly? I can honestly say I'm equally so with both. I do full time day care for two toddler grandsons 55 hours per week. Years ago I was a companion two days a week for a lovely lady who was 96 when I began helping her out with housework, shopping, gardening, etc. I've always had a special spot in my heart for both age groups.

9. Did you ever sneak a peek at a present? Yes, and I got caught by my Dad but not before I'd seen most of my gifts. It was a case of double jeopardy...I got a well-deserved spanking AND knowing what I was getting totally ruined Christmas for me that year.

10. What is the longest you've waited for something? 20 years...until the nite I met Dear Hubby.

11. Who has more patience, you or your significant other? Me. No doubt about it. When I asked Dear Hubby about my patience, he told me he'd give himself a 3. And he's about right!

12. Which of the following songs about waiting is your pick for the best? (OK, you may substitute another, if you like.)

A) Anticipation by Carly Simon

B) The Waiting by Tom Petty

C) Right Here Waiting for You by Richard Marx

D) Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James

I've always been a Carly Simon fan.

Weighed in the balances....

I don't mind when new bloggers contact me and ask me to promote their blogs now and then, just to get a few readers to come over and help them get established, especially if they're serious about blogging and decide to stick around a while. I've lost count how many bloggers have come and gone in the almost-five years I've been blogging. Most of those who were blogging when I first began on another server fell by the wayside a long time ago and that blog service is a virtual ghost town now. But I've had one person lately who comes across too pushy for my taste and after thinking about it for a few days, I took my link to her site off my blog. I appreciate the fact she's trying to drum up traffic but it's the way she's gone about it that puts me off. Asking me to 'write' about her and her projects with links...no, that's not the way I function. She did one thing recently that really turned me off and when I weighed what she'd done in the balances, I found myself deleting her. Am I cold-blooded? Have any of the rest of you had this problem? How have you dealt with it?

8's

I always find the coolest things to do over at Betty's blog. Here's another one I found this morning and I'm doing it this evening while I'm relaxing before going to bed. I changed the first 8 to movies instead of TV shows because outside of watching most of the morning shows on PBS with my grandboys, I watch next-to-no television:

8 Movies I like to watch:

"To Kill A Mockingbird"

"Tender Were the Vines"

"Harvey"

"Christmas Story"

"Fargo" (the 'cut' version...otherwise, the language is too rough)

"The Friendly Persuasion"

"The Family Man"

"The Searchers"

8 Favorite Places to Eat & drink:

My mother-in-law's in her younger years when she used to cook

Noho's

Canton Grill

The Original Taco House

Diane's - a little neighborhood restaurant that serves good breakfast

Subway

My sister-in-law Susi's

My sister-in-law Shari's -- Good cooking runs in my husband's family!

8 Things I Look Forward To:

Dear Hubby arriving home from work every day

A day to myself

My way-too-infrequent visits with my best friend Lizzee

Phone calls from my 'baby' brother

Opening up my email Inbox

Sitting down to blog

Walking on the beach

Browsing thru thrift/antique shops

8 Things that Happened Yesterday:

I got out of bed

I blogged a lot

I went to church

I answered a bunch of email

I read most of a book

I ate too much...one of those 'grazing' days where I keep nibbling all day long.

Dear Hubby got home safely from a weekend out of town

I had a nice chat on the phone with my mother-in-law

8 Things I Love About Winter:

Storms that blow in from the Pacific

Homemade soups

Hunkering down under a throw on the couch with a good book

Believe it or not, I don't mind the rain we have here all that much. It's the gloom that gets me.

Just the general beauty of the season. Each one has it's own unique beauty.

The smell of wood smoke in the air when we go for walks

The first snowfall

Watching the wonder on my grandsons' faces as they gaze out the front windows at that first snowfall

8 Things I Am Passionate About:

My love for God

My love for family

Life

Writing

Friends

Reading

Gardening

The sea

8 Phrases I Use A Lot:

Oh, for pity's sake!

Good grief

I feel like the wreck of the Hesperus

Is that so?

What?!

I saw it here/there

I didn't touch it

I don't know

8 Things I Learnt from the Past:

Don't judge a book by its cover

Integrity

Patience

Forgiveness

Empathy

Sympathy

A willing heart

Sense of duty

THIS is the kind of news we all love to hear!

I wrote about this darling little guy earlier this month here. I went over to read at my friend Dori's blog tonite and she has an update posted...he's home and doing well! Slept in his own bed last nite! Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who upheld him and his family in prayer thru this most difficult time! God still does hear and answer...Brandon is 'proof pudding', as my mom used to say, of that very fact.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~ Mark Twain

I received this lovely award from my blog friend Betty who lives in Paraguay.
Thank you, Betty, for honoring me in such a nice way.
I am supposed to write down 10 things that make me happy
so here they are, in no certain order:

1. My family

2. My faith

3, A day of peace & quiet

4. A good book

5. Blogging/writing

6. A task well-done

7. Walking on the beach

8. Babies

9. Listening to music

10. Walking to the top of Mt. Tabor with Dear Hubby

I will pass this on to two blog friends, too.
One would be Judy.
The other is Jaggy.

Mothers & Daughters & Teens & Werewolves...

I got an email from the author Lauren Kessler today. She wrote a book about the Japanese American families who settled in the Hood River, Oregon, area called "Stubborn Twig" that was picked for the Oregon Reads project for our state's 150th anniversary last year. It's a remarkable book and I also read "Dancing with Rose", about her journey into coming to terms with her mother's Alzheimer's disease. One of the most beautiful mother/daughter books I think I've ever read. She is the editor of Etude Magazine and a professor at the University of Oregon in Eugene.

With all that said, we communicated back and forth in a flurry of emails after I'd linked to her in a blog entry. She left a comment and she invited me to come up to her and introduce myself if I ever got to one of her readings held around the state last year. Regrettably, I never did. Too caught up in my day-to-day life to get away. Every time a new issue of Etude is published, tho, she notifies me. And then, today, came the email telling about her new blog project, a mother/daughter collaboration that she and her teenaged daughter Lizzie have launched. It's called "My Teenage Werewolf". I've put a link to it in my sidebar as well. And it is also going to be a book published later this year. I am most definitely looking forward to reading it.

Questions...Ramblings...on a rainy morning, waiting for Dear Hubby to come home...

If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be? Scout from "To Kill a Mockingbird". She is so much like I was as a little girl. I think we would've been best buddies.

Where did you get your very first kiss? At the beach when I was in 9th grade. It was Spring Break.

What is your favorite Beatles song? "Here, There, and Everywhere"

Donuts: Overrated, underrated, or 'bout right? I have one word for them...yuck! Especially since losing my sense of taste? To just chew them with no flavor is pretty disgusting. You really become aware of the amount of fat in them.

Cooper loves to stop by the book case in our bedroom on his way to the bathroom -- we have a Jack-n-Jill bathroom, accessible only thru our room and our daughter's -- and pull out a book. Friday's choice was "Keswick's Authentic Voice" by Herbert Stevenson.

My daughter-in-law went out after work on Friday with some girl friends so it was just my son and the boys at home that evening. When our son had called in the afternoon he'd asked if Dylan had taken a nap and I told him that yes, he had. He said, "Well, your power of persuasion is so strong with him, do you think you could talk to him about going to bed like a good boy for me tonite?" I said sure, I'd do that. I mentioned it to Dylan after I got off the phone and he pondered the thought for a few minutes and didn't say anything about it. As they were all going out the door that evening I stopped him for a moment and said, "Remember what Grandma said about going to bed for Daddy like a good boy?" And he looked up at me and said, "Grandma, will you come home with me and lay down with me when I go to bed?" It's the way I get him to take naps now, lying down with him. "Sorry, buddy...Grandma's going to stay here." But I told my son, "Turn out the lights, turn off the TV, and go lay down with him. He'll go to sleep. Then you can get up." I haven't heard if it worked for him but it works like a charm for me, thank goodness. The 10-11 hour days without both boys taking a nap were killing me.

When I got home from grocery shopping yesterday morning, as I pulled up to the curb in front of the house I thought, "Man, this truck is steering weird!" When I went to the passenger side to get the food out I looked down and saw that the front tire was completely flat. I'm not even sure how I got home...it didn't go flat until I'd begun parking it, I don't think, because it was fine on the trip home. Since I use the truck only for grocery shopping on Saturdays for the most part I figured, "Oh, well!" But my neighbor Sonny was outside and noticed the flat, too. A little later he came over and offered to use a battery charger/air compressor his wife had bought him for a gift to pump up the tire so I could at least get the truck to Les Schwab and have the tire repaired. So he did. And I got my flat fixed in no time. What a nice gesture, very much appreciated. (And I do know how to change a flat, but do you know 92% of the driving public doesn't?! I was amazed by that statistic!)

I noticed two of the young men who live in the little 5-plex across the street walking back to the complex at 8 am from the Plaid Pantry a few blocks from our house. Carrying two short-cases of beer. At 8 am, remember? Mercy.

Sometimes I forget what a nice lady my mother-in-law is. Dear Hubby always calls her early Sunday mornings to chat each week. I hardly ever talk to her any more. This morning she called at 7:30, concerned because he hadn't called yet. I told her he was in Yakima for the weekend, and then she remembered he'd told her that last week when he'd talked to her. She and I ended up talking for close to half an hour. A very pleasant chat. It was nice.

As my daughter was watching one of the cooking shows on the Food Channel last nite, there was a segment about hot dogs. Even tho I was on the computer, I heard it with half an ear and when she said, "Mom, sometimes hot dogs just sound so good!" I said they sounded good to me, too. So guess what we're having for lunch today after I come home from church? Hot dogs! With the works!

I have to stop at the library on the way home from church...can't forget to vote! We're having a special election about taxes. I have got to remember to drop off the ballots!

Dear Hubby won't be home until early this evening. 36 years together, and I still miss him when he's gone.

Today's Weather Forecast....

While I'm at it, I may as well tell you these as well...

6 Random Boring Bits About Me:

1. I hum when I'm nervous

(After Linda's comment, I thought I'd let you know it's very quiet and lowkey. I think I'm about the only one aware of the fact I'm doing it.)

2. I used to bite my toenails when I was little and both my grandsons seem to have inherited that gene from me.

3. I have to spread a little bit of Ben Gay under my nose every nite before I go to bed.

If I've forgotten to swab some on there, I can't sleep until I get up and put some on.

Don't ask me why. I have no answer.

4. I once sneaked on to a neighbor's swing set when they weren't home, then fell off on the top of my head, hard on the ground. I often wonder if I gave myself a concussion when I look back on it now but I never told a soul when it happened because I knew I'd get in trouble for being on the swing set in the first place.

5. When I lost my first tooth, I was eating dinner at a friend's house. I thought it was a hard kernel of corn from the cob I was eating, took it out of my mouth, and handed it to my friend's mother.

6. I get carsick if I ride in the back seat of a vehicle or on a transit train.

I am never bored anywhere: being bored is an insult to oneself. ~ Jules Renard

These questions all come from "My Little Life", a blog I stumbled across this evening...one of the rare times I've found lately to just roam around the internet. (Dear Hubby is out of town for the weekend.) Since I still feel like writing but don't feel like doing another real entry, I thought I'd tackle these for the fun of it:

What is better, growing old without money or dying young and wealthy? Definitely growing old without money. I've never had much my entire life. Enough to get by and to supply what we need but that's about it. If I'd died young and rich I'd never had the amazing experience of being a grandmother, and I can't even imagine that now.

Who takes out the garbage at your house? I usually do. Having grown up in a house as the only girl with 3 brothers, 'gender' chores were never an issue. I was told I could do whatever the boys could. I did. I still do. Doesn't bother me in the least.

Have you ever had the same dream many times? No. Not even twice that I can remember. I've had dreams that follow a theme, so to speak, about school or whatever. But it always seems to be a different school, different age groups.

Can you play a musical instrument? Nope. I took about two weeks' worth of clarinet lessons when I was 10. I knew from the moment we met, my clarinet and I were not destined to be best buddies. Blech.

If you owned your own store, what would you sell? Books, books, and more books!

What is the one thing that you reach for the most in a day (excluding phones and computers)? Baby Wipes.

What kind of cell phone do you have? Love it or hate it? Just a plain-Jane T-Mobile cell phone. I hardly ever use it except to call my son's cell phone because his is a Washington State number and is long distance on our land line. I am not a lover of technology. Outside of my computer, that is.

Coke or Pepsi? I hardly ever drink pop, but it's Diet Pepsi when I do.

If you could go back and change anything about your wedding day, what would it be and why? If I'd known we were going to so spontaneously get married two weeks after I'd already spent my vacation, I would've waited and had two weeks for a honeymoon and setting up our household. Instead, we had a 3-day weekend at the beach.

What phrase, or phrases, do you say a lot (holy cow, geez, seriously?) "You dirty bird!" when I'm really upset. Otherwise, "Do you need to go poopy?" "Kisses are better!" "Don't bite your brother!" "Both ways, all ways!" at every intersection the grandboys and I come to.

Swimming: Are you a kamikaze off the boat, take the plunge from the deep end, or a gradual, slow submersion from the shore or shallow end kind of person? I'm a never-go-in-over-my-head kind of swimmer. I swim great on my back but can't do much more than dog paddle otherwise.

Have any tattoos? If not, what would you get? Nope, and I'd never get one, either. Doesn't interest me in the least.

What is your favorite tree? Pink Dogwood

Two pronged question: What is your favorite non-physical thing about your spouse? What is your favorite physical thing about your spouse? His sense of humor is my favorite non-physical attraction. Even in the most dire moments, he can come up with something that will spiral us into fits of laughter. I have two favorite physical attributes and can't choose which I love more, his incredibly penetrating eyes or his beautiful hands.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. ~ Woody Allen

I just noticed on my Blogger Profile:

viewers of my profile are

3,000.

Do you know how many

months

it's been stuck on that

number?!

Another of Blogger's quirks

that makes me

chuckle...

Lay you down now, and rest, and may your slumber be blessed...

I am a very vivid dreamer. I can remember a lot of detail from my dreams as well...at least for the first half hour after I rise in the morning. I don't put much importance on them...usually they're inspired, I think, by random things or thoughts that happen during the day.

I've had a lot of The Past hitting me in the face lately. Coming to terms with the failure I've been in certain family situations. Making contact with old childhood friends. Reconnecting with a pen pal I'd begun writing to when I was 14 and losing contact with her around 30 years ago. Trying to find closure to the life of a friend I've had since I was 7 years old...I don't know if she's become too ill to communicate any more, or if she's passed away. Her daughter hasn't let me know one way or another.

So that brings me to the strange dream I had the other nite. I dreamt it was the last day of high school. Everyone had passed their finals except me. One of my teachers sat down with me, an old Home Economics teacher, and told me I'd failed to turn in even one assignment in every class I'd had as a Senior. I couldn't graduate because my Senior year more or less hadn't existed in a paper-sense way. I cried...oh, how I cried! But I knew what she said was true so I decided to take one more walk down the hallways before I left. As I did, I can't tell you how many people from my past I walked by...some lounging at their lockers with books cradled in their arms, talking to friends. Some walking or running down the halls towards me from the other direction. But not only were they kids I'd known in high school...they were kids from my childhood, friends from my early jobs outside of school after I'd graduated. They all paused in what they were doing or waved at me as they passed by, wishing me good luck, telling me good bye. Not one of them had aged from the last time I'd seen them. Little boys, gangly teens, lovely young women. Handsome young men. I got the sense they were all in a hurry to close things down, to move on in to their futures. Every one of them who was moving was moving in the opposite direction I was. It was very disconcerting.

So what does this mean? That I hold on to the past too much and need to move on? That who I knew then, where I lived then, is past history? It doesn't necessarily need to be dwelled upon, it doesn't necessarily need to be revisited? I would say that is true if all of my reconnections had been negative. But connecting with Robin, my pen pal from long ago, has been like picking up where we left off when we were young mothers in our mid-20's. It was so wonderful catching up with an old neighborhood friend, too.

But I have been guilty of focusing in on the happy years of my early youth. Moreso than a lot of people, I think. My life has been made up of 3 definite compartments, at least in my eyes and my memories. That's how I describe them to myself, anyway. My early years of happy childhood, my miserable and horribly unhappy teen years, and the wonderful life I've had with Dear Hubby for the past 36 years. I've come to realize no matter how much I go back in time, no matter how much I think about it, I can never change a thing. I think I've come to terms with it, too. I was fortunate to be blessed with a happy little girlhood. The miserable middle years were a great learning time for me...many valuable life lessons that have probably been the ground work, the foundation, upon which I've been able to build the happy years I've had as a wife and mother. "You can't go home again"...oh, but how the paths you've followed, the decisions you've made, can pave a walkway to a much better life.

Where do they go when they leave?

I wrote about an employee at a local pizzeria not too long ago. As with everyone you meet, there's a little more to the story than we can tell about. Especially considering most people visit a blog page an average of one minute before they restlessly move on. Did you know that little bit of information? I didn't for the first few years I wrote on here...I'd go on and on forever. But after reading that and realizing "less is more" I've tried to cut down on my 'wordiness'. I don't always succeed...

...but I digress.

As usual.

Anyway, the last two times the grandboys and I have stopped in to this little corner establishment, Kim hasn't been there. The first time I figured maybe it was a shift change. Day before yesterday I realized she's no longer there. Even Dylan noticed...he asked me, "Where did the lady go, Grandma?"

Good question...where did she go?

It's funny how we can make first impressions of people, isn't it? The first time the boys and I stopped there to get pizza, Kim waited on us. Not unfriendly, but definitely businesslike and reserved. She was covered with tattoos. A little hard around the edges. For someone so young I could tell she'd already done a lot of living. Once upon a time I might've dismissed her and figured she wasn't worth my time...many, many years ago. But time and experience has taught me in my Christian walk in life that "Do unto others" is there in the Bible for a reason. We aren't supposed to judge someone...we're supposed to love them. And with Kim, as I try to do with everyone I communicate with, I began 'killing her with kindness'. And, as with most other people I encounter more than once, the kindness began softening her heart. (There ARE those out there who are truly impossible to reach, I know. Or take even more kindness than I can bestow, anyway!) Each time we came in and once we began greeting her by name, it wasn't long and we were her friends. She'd go out of her way to give the grandboys little treats, whether it was cookies or candy canes off the store's Christmas tree. Extra Super Balls she had on hand for a vending machine. We gave her a $5 tip at Christmas. She had a beautiful smile. Not that Dylan or Cooper ever cared how she looked on the outside...it was the inside they saw. And responded to.

So, where did she go?

Will she remember us?

In a man's middle years there is scarcely a part of the body he would hesitate to turn over to the proper authorities. ~ E.B. White

I'm usually pretty skeptical about natural supplements and remedies. Well, maybe 'skeptical' isn't quite the term, because I have used some nautral supplements in the past with positive results, like Black Cohosh for menopausal relief until my problems became too great for it to help. Maybe 'cautious' is the word I'm looking for. But two of them have proven to me that they really do work. One is Menoquil...I have a link to it at the bottom of my sidebar. It's marvelous. The other is glucosamine sulfate.

Several years ago I took a bad tumble down our basement stairs in the middle of the nite and injured my lower back. Not my tailbone, but the lumbar area. And as I've been getting older arthritis has been settling into the area, with the pain and tenderness spreading in to my hips as well. I have used yoga and stretching exercises to try to ease some of the discomfort and to loosen my back up. Most of the time the pain is there but it's not been too 'naggy'...just uncomfortable. Lately, in the past few months, it's increased to the point where it's interrupting my sleep and causing me to move around like I'm 100 years old when I first get up in the morning. With trying to chase after two very active young toddlers and getting up and down off the floor a hundred times a day, it's become quite a challenge.

Dear Hubby injured his back last year and his chiropractor had recommended glucosamine sulfate to help ease joint pain. Dear Hubby had suggested I try it too, but being the stubborn Swede that I am I kind of pooh-pooh'ed the idea. That is, up until recently. I'd become uncomfortable enough I was just about ready to try anything and when he suggested it again a couple of weeks ago I finally caved in.

I can not believe the difference.

Even after only a couple of weeks. I can walk without pain. I can go up and down the basement stairs without knee pain. My hand joints don't hurt. I can get up off the floor without having to slowly haul myself upward holding on to the nearest piece of furniture.

I feel 20 years younger.

I am now a believer.

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. ~ Mark Twain

I've come to realize...
...I am not indispensable.

I've come to realize...
...my 'job' has priceless benefits.

I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
...I'm wishing I was doing something else.

I've come to realize that I need...
...to ask for help more often.

I've come to realize I have lost...
...the desire to impress people.

I've come to realize that I hate it when...
...people won't let me finish what I want to say.

I've come to realize that money...
...is something I'll never have a lot of.

I've come to realize that people...
...care for me more than I ever dreamed.

I've come to realize that I'll always be...
...a person who feels too deeply and rarely ever reveals it to the outside world.

I've come to realize that my mom...
...was greatly misunderstood by me.

I've come to realize when I woke up this morning...
...I felt blessed to awaken to another day.

I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
...I felt no fear of the future.

I've come to realize that right now I'm thinking about...
...where I fit into the scheme of things.

I've come to realize that my Dad...
...was a much deeper man than I thought he was.

I've come to realize that today...
...is one day closer to my grandsons growing up and away from needing me.

I've come to realize that tonite...
...I am mentally fatigued.

I've come to realize that tomorrow...
...might not arrive.

I've come to realize that I really want to...
...make some kind of mark in this world with my writing.

I've come to realize that Life...
...is something I truly do enjoy living.

I've come to realize the best thing to do when I'm upset...
...is to face what's upsetting me and resolve it before it consumes me.

I've come to realize my friends...
...are a vital part of my existence.

I've come to realize this year...
...is as full of the unknown as any other year and not to sweat it.

I've come to realize...
...I truly do love the woman I've become.

Do you have the answers?

Now that I use comment moderation, why am I getting so many spam comments

when I didn't get them before?

Actually, I have a few.....

I can't seem to copy and paste or get anything to highlight.

It takes several frustrating tries.

Could this be a mouse problem?

Do I need to purchase a new one?

Bring the past only if you are going to build from it. ~ Doménico Cieri Estrada

Paths

(For Sara)

Our path starts
from the moment of conception.
We float in darkness
and dream to the beat
of our mother's
heart.
And once we're here
our path
is directed by
those around us,
those who make decisions
for us.
We are like grains of sand,
blown this way
and that,
no sense of direction,
no light.
But as the winds ripple,
the gales howl,
a sweet breeze is there
at the end of
the tunnel.
It lifts us and buoys us.
It beckons to us
and we find ourselves
shifting our
path
in that direction.
We find ourselves
straining our faces upwards
towards the sun,
the promise of warmth
and
sustenance.
The promise of
a
beautiful day.

With Love,
Aunt Kris

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~ Dr. Seuss

36 years ago today I got out of bed early. I'd taken the day off from working swing shift at a local hospital. I'd been called to do Jury Duty and had to report to the Clark County court house at 8 am to serve. I got chosen to sit in on a statutory rape case. It took most of the day. I had just turned 20 years old at the end of December.

It was cold. I walked home at the end of the day and began preparing for a blind date that had been set up for me by a co-worker at the hospital. The young man I was going out with was her husband's best friend and the four of us were going to go out together. I don't remember taking any extra time with my appearance but I was one of those 'natural' girls of the late 60's-early 70's. I didn't wear make up. I'm pretty sure I wore jeans. Jeans were the staple of my every-day wardrobe back then.

As the time approached for My Date to arrive I remember sitting on my bed in candle light, listening to Neil Young's "Harvest" album over and over again. "Cinnamon Girl" especially. Was I nervous? Not especially so. But I became more concerned as the agreed-upon time of the date came and went. Had he developed cold feet and decided not to come? Had they been in a wreck? But then I heard a knock at the front door and I went out and opened it. In came my friend Betty, her husband Mike...and this young man with flowing dark hair and the most piercing deep brown eyes I had ever seen. Introductions went around. I was incredibly tongue-tied. I got on my coat and off we went into the bitterly cold nite.

We had chinese food, something I'd never eaten before outside of white rice and fried shrimp. I had something called Moo Goo Gai Pan or something strange like that. I picked at my food, terribly aware of this handsome, mysterious stranger next to me. His leather jacket creaked every time he moved. His hands were beautiful.

We went to the movies. We saw "Electra Glide in Blue". I loved the group Chicago and they were in it. I sat next to My Date and every time our arms brushed I felt there was more electra-glide going thru my body than there was on the screen. But we'd barely spoken. Sparks were flying.

We went to visit some mutual friends of theirs. A little mobile home in the country somewhere outside of Battle Ground. But first we stopped at a market and bought beer and wine. Really rot gut wine. I was so nervous I took my bottle and upended it, drinking it like Coke. By the time we reached the friends' house I was already feeling no pain. Anything to loosen me up. I was petrified of what I was feeling. Like a vortex sucking me in with no way out. This instant electric connection to this quiet young man.

We sat on the floor or on the couch. I can't remember which but I know we sat together. We began to talk a bit. I was becoming very drunk. I was mortified. I'd noticed horses out in a field as we'd driven up to the little mobile home and I asked My Date if he'd like to go take a walk. He did. We walked along a gravel road with the horses shimmery in the moonlight puffing and snuffling, jettisons of steam blowing out into the cold air. I wasn't too steady on my feet. My Date put an arm around me. I felt...safe. Protected.

As we drove home in the back seat of our friends' little Volkwagen I knew I was getting sick. And I did. I was beyond mortified. But My Date didn't seem to mind. It took over an hour to drive from the little mobile home to my parents' house, mostly freeway and maybe 20 miles away. As we pulled up to the house I couldn't get out of the back seat I was so drunk and so sick. So Mike and My Date got out and stood smoking and talking on the curb while I tried to gather my wits...and some sort of dignity...about me. I remember drunkenly slobbering to my friend Betty, "He'll never ask me out again and I like him so much!"

Finally, the two men grabbed me under the armpits and hauled me out of the back of that Volkswagen. As I staggered across the lawn My Date steadied me as I got sick again. Then, up on the porch, he pulled me close and hugged me, kissed me on the forehead, and told me it had been fun. He told me he'd call. "Yeah, right", I thought as I opened the door and went inside. I knew I'd never see him again.

As he rode home with his friends he told them, "Some day I'm going to marry that girl". They laughed him to scorn but he insisted.

A few days later he did call. I took the phone in to my parents' bedroom and shut the door for privacy. An hour and a half later I came out and my mother was sitting at the kitchen table looking at me with her eyebrow quirked and a snarky little grin on her face. "Well, I certainly think you like that one!"

Oh, if she only knew!

And 5 months, 4 days later we married.

And that was the beginning of our story.

Family Ties

(Dear Hubby's grandparents' homestead,

Oregon City, Oregon)

I have a niece who'll be coming to read my blog for the first time sometime tomorrow. It's a long, long story of family dynamics and all but she and I have never had the opportunity to get to know each other very well. We connected on Facebook of all places, and we are taking steps towards 'finding' each other for the first time in our lives. That is why I'm sharing my blog with her, so she can get to know me and maybe fill in some of the years of empty space that have separated us. I write what I think and feel so much better than I can ever say it. I'm hoping this will help her to get to know me as the woman I am, not just as her "Aunt Kris". So, welcome, Sara!

I snitched this from Jaggy:

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Coffee

Can you play Guitar Hero? I am hopelessly a dinosaur. I don't even know what Guitar Hero is.

How late did you stay up last night and why? 'Til almost 9:30 because Dear Hubby and I were watching an old Gary Cooper movie, "The Fountainhead"

If you could move somewhere else, would you? We've lived in this house 27 years. I think that tells you the answer to this one.

Have you ever been kissed under fireworks? Nope.

Do you believe ex's can be friends? It may be possible but it never happened in my case.

What items could you not go without during the day? Diapers, Pull-Ups, Baby Wipes, apple juice, and milk.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I think it was my dad?? Whoever it was, it's been a while.

How do you feel about your life right now? Very content

If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? Messages from my niece, David, and Janet

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Only with great sarcasm.

What song is stuck in your head? "Our God is an Awesome God"

Do you think too much or too little? Too much at times.

Do you like pickles? I LOVE pickles!

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? No, and it's never entered my mind to do so.

What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? Only a year or two.

Have you ever been on a blind date? Yes, two of them. And on one of them I met Dear Hubby and married him 5 months and 4 days later.

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more? Most of my friends are of long duration. My best friend Lizzee and I have been friends since 1967.

Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them? It's none of my business and I could care less.

Are you a good tipper? Yes, if the service is good.

What's the most you have spent for a haircut? My daughter talked me in to going to a hair salon several years ago and I spent around $40 then. I have no idea what that might equal to now.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Not a crush but I had one in high school I thought was pretty cute.

Have you ever peed in public? It's embarrassing to admit, but yes. When I was a very little girl, if I got all wrapped up in playing, I'd drop my pants and pee on a corner of the street across from the high school!

What song do you want played at your funeral? I have two, and I don't think either one is 'traditional' but they pretty much mirror how I feel. One is "Victory in Jesus" and the other one is "I'll Fly Away".

What would your last meal be before getting executed? My homemade chicken/turkey soup.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? If the grandboys are here, I hook the chain lock up high on the door. Otherwise, I put my keys and wallet down.

Who is the person you can count on the most? Outside of myself, Dear Hubby

What did you dream last night? I had a restless nite because of a head cold so I don't remember dreaming anything.

Would you ever get plastic surgery? Only if I was horribly disfigured.

Have you ever caught a fish? Many, and I always bait my own hooks.

What is your favorite lunch meat? Deli ham, or leftover Honey Baked ham. YUMMM!

Do you still have your tonsils? Surprisingly, yes, since it seems like most kids who grew up in my era had theirs removed.

What is your favorite cereal? Corn Chex, and I like to eat them dry with a milk 'chaser'!

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.

What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Mint

What is the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes.

What book are you reading now? "The Gathering" by Ann Enright. But I took it back to the library today. Couldn't get in to it.

What is the farthest you've been from home? Ogunquit, Maine.

How did you meet your spouse? On a blind date set up by a mutual friend. I worked with her, and Dear Hubby was her husband's best friend.

Where was the last place you drove (other than home/school/work)? To Fred Meyer to buy groceries.

Now, wasn't that thrilling?!

A little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul. ~ Author Unknown

You can think what you will about this post but because this, most importantly, is my personal journal for my grandsons to read someday, I am going to share this. There may be some of you out there who read this and will scoff. There are those of you who may read it and not believe it. And then there are those of you who will read it and rejoice with me in what a wonderful Savior we serve. But what I am telling you is the absolute truth.

This morning I awoke with a start. I'd heard some kind of noise and I lay there in the dark, straining my ears, trying to figure out what I'd heard. Dear Hubby was already up...the alarm hadn't gone off at 5 and it was now almost 5:45 so I figured he must've awakened before the alarm and turned it off, that he'd be downstairs in his den where he goes to read his Bible and pray every morning. I went down quietly and peeked in the door, not wanting to disturb him. And there he was, just as I knew he'd be, on his knees lost in prayer. So I crept back upstairs, got my breakfast ready, and went to sit on the couch with my coffee and bagel. He came upstairs a few minutes later and as he came in to the living room he told me, "I don't know what's wrong but I'm really confused." Alarm bells went off in my head. "What do you mean? What's wrong?" I asked him. But he couldn't tell me, outside of the fact he was very 'befuddled' and couldn't figure out what was real and what wasn't. I had him sit down. I asked him if he knew what year it was, who's the President of the United States, what year he was born, his birthday. I checked his pupils, had him track my finger with his eyes, and had him write down his name. He passed those tests with flying colors but I could tell there was something really, really wrong with him. So I sat beside him on the couch and we talked. I told him about how I am attacked by the devil sometimes...I spent 7 years deeply involved in satanism and the occult when I was young...and how the devil can get to me in dreams in ways he no longer can when I'm awake, how we're so much more vulnerable when we're asleep. That sometimes after one of those kinds of nightmares I wake up and I don't know where I'm at, whether I'm in reality or still stuck in dreams. It's very disorienting. But he said no, this was different. He couldn't tell if what he was thinking now was something that had happened or if it hadn't. I got up and grabbed my Bible and brought it over to him. I said, "Hold on to this. This is what's real. The Lord knows what's wrong." And as he held it he began to weep. I put my hand on his shoulder and I began to pray with all my heart and what can I say but the Power fell from Heaven like a bolt of lightning. It's giving me goose bumps all over again as I'm writing this. The Lord truly came down and met us there. I have never, ever felt anything like it in my entire life. And as we finished praying together Dear Hubby looked at me and said, "I'm fine now. It's gone!" Just like that, in a moment of time.

You can argue this with me until the end of time but I know this is true. I was there. I witnessed it. God still hears and answers prayer.

Turn around and they're one, turn around and they're 4...

I stumbled across this gem today, sticking out cockeyed from a bookshelf Dear Hubby and I have in the bedroom. As I went by and began giving it a push back in alignment with the other books I stopped when I realized what it was: an autobiography written by my son when he was 9 years old. As well as that, there was also a biography in it he wrote about me:

"When my mom was little she had a dog. My mom has 3 brothers. There names are K, T, and E. K is the oldest of her brothers. My mom ran away one day and when her dad found her and her friend he took them to have ice cream. One day at school she was caught reding a book when she should be working. Then her teacher took the book and burned it up. She married a man named D. She loved D. He looks nice. She had my sister in 1977. She had me when she was 22. Her favorite foods are apples, popcorn, and elk meat. My mom is very pretty. She has brown hair, beautiful eyes. She loves me very, very much and I love her! She likes writing and reading and a hole lot of stuff. She likes watching baseball games if there exciting. She is a busy mom. She is very alergic to cotton wood trees."

It was my Mother's Day gift that year. Taped inside is a paper tulip he'd made and given me, too.

I write about my grandboys a lot. But when I read thru this little journal this morning, this book written by my son who is their father, it transported me back 22 years ago as if it was yesterday. And I remembered the darling little boy with the flyaway hair, the skinny little butt that needed suspenders to keep his pants up, and cowboy boots splattering thru every mud puddle they could find. And I marvelled and was appalled at how fast those years have gone by. Did I treasure them enough, him enough? And as I searched my heart I knew that I had. But if I'd only known then what I know now I would've treasured them more.

Caution: Enter at Your Own Risk

I admit I'm a certified nut case. Facebook on...Facebook deactivated...Facebook on. Followers on...Followers off...Followers on...Followers off. Catch my drift?

OK, so after having been asked by a reader to put my Followers gadget on and then never seeing her add herself to it I figured, why have it sitting there mocking me and driving me crazy? As with commenters and lurkers, no one seems to attach themselves and let me know that they're there. I know they are but I must be extremely intimidating or something because people just won't speak up!

So, with that said, the Followers are off. You can bookmark me or something. I'm finding following the crowd is chafing me as badly now as it did almost 38 years ago when I graduated from high school. I am not a follower. I'm just a grumpy post-menopausal nincompoop venting my muse this morning.

And it's only 4:15 am.

Blech....

....And I am still not getting notification of all my comments. My apologies, Mary, if I was slow in getting back to you but I did email off what you requested.

It's all in the name....

It was a long weekend, just for the fact that my high-speed DSL internet was working dog-slow, if at all. Flicker on, flicker off. Mostly off. Aggravating.

And just because I spent 45 minutes on the phone with a nice Broadband technician named Linda who sincerely tried to help me out, I am going to trust her and hope my DSL will stay steady so I can post this. Tho I really have nothing remotely interesting to talk about this evening. When Cooper laid down for his nap I turned off the TV and told Dylan he and I were taking a nap, too. He actually put up no fuss and cuddled under the big cozy comforter on our bed and promptly went to sleep for almost 2 hours. I slept for at least one. That was the highlight of my day, but a nice one considering Dylan hardly ever naps any more

.

For those of you who've enjoyed reading my post about why I'm a Facebook Fan of Oregon, here are a few of the right pronunciation for some of the confusing names towns and rivers have been named up here in the Northwest corner of the Lower 48:

Sequim......Squim

Puyallup.......Pew al up

Issaquah......Iss a qwa

Oregon......Ory gun

Yakima......Yak i maw...short "i"

Willamette.......Will am et

Most out-of-staters pronounce "Willamette" as "Will uh met". I've heard Yakima prounced "Yuh kee ma". And Oregon itself? Oh my.

I'm sure every part of the country has its particular strange-sounding, hard-to-pronounce names. It's just that we Northwesterners' are inordinately proud of ours.

Tho this has nothing to do with my post I noticed a reader found my blog by typing in "chicken slaughtering" in a Google search. That made my day.

Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people. ~ Martina Navratilova

OK...I have never been a fan of the Follower gadget on here.
But Lakeviewer commented and asked me to add it again
so she could find her way back in the rain..
I had it on my sidebar a long, long time ago.
I don't even know if most of them listed on here now even visit any more.
I know several no longer blog.
But...
here it is.
You can do with it what you will.

I'm a Facebook Fan of Oregon because...

You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.

You consider swimming an indoor sport.

In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark—while only working eight-hour days.

You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from California.

You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

You measure distance in hours.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall)."

Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them.

Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.

You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was.

Bonus for having been there.

You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a crime-infested jungle... OR ...You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.

You know what is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it.

You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.

A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.

You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.

You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.

You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.

You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.

You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.

You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly.

You know a bride & groom that registered at REI.

If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.

Every day is casual Friday.

Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.

You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.

Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowners policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides.

You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.

Obey all traffic laws except "keep right unless passing."

Are amazed by an accurate weather forecast.

You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there....once...

You know that Burgerville has the best hamburgers...ever.

You have only used 5 main freeways/highways: I-5, 217, 205, 26, and 84.

You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively.

You know where Astoria is.

You think that the Beach is the best place to go for vacation, or just for a day off.

You love going to the Original Pancake House....because it's original....

You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.

You love the smell of rain.

You know the exact day you had school off because it snowed like....one inch.

You have been to camp 18...or just driven by it.

You listen to Kink FM 102.

You remember Ramblin' Rod...and you laugh because you used to watch it....or because you were on it for your birthday.

You are sad during Christmas because it never snows in the valley.

You know where the valley is.

You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.

You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.

You say "pop" instead of "soda."

You drive on 'the Banfield'.

You've been offered pot on Hawthorne.

You smile at people you don't know as you walk by them on the sidwalk.

You know you're from Oregon when people call you a hippy and you just smile because you can't hear them over the Grape-Nuts.

You make subtle remarks about Washington drivers, but save your real road rage for California drivers.

You know The Shane Company's radio commercial word for word -- "...Across the freeway from the Washington Square Mall...open Monday through Friday 'til 8, Saturday and Sunday 'til 5...also available on shaneco.com."

You've witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like it's no big deal.

You were thrilled that Scott Thomason finally stopped putting his face on the back of his cars.

Writers' Angst....

I am not really a published writer. Not in the sense of any of my writing being in a book for the public to purchase, tho Dear Hubby says I ought to charge everyone who comes by and reads my drivel a dollar per visit. Since my mom died 20 years ago, he has been my staunchest, most loyal, supportive 'fan' in the world. If he had his way, I'd be on the New York Times bestseller list. Well, that ain't gonna happen. So I sit here and plunk away on my keyboard whenever I can find some spare moments and publish myself onto the worldwide web. I am inordinately pleased whenever I look at my little Feedjit thingy and see new towns, cities, countries pop up. Someone out there is 'reading me', even tho I'm none the richer for it. But that's ok. I'm not doing this to become rich and famous. I'm doing it because I love it. LOVE it!

I can not figure out how to get Blogger set up so that every comment makes it to my email Inbox. And so I'm sure there are plenty that I have missed in the past almost-5 years I've been writing on my blog. I apologize to any of those who come along and are brave enough to speak up and never hear back from me. That is unacceptable. But even tho I have my blog set up where everyone can comment...well, I guess they can. But I'm not always notified. The reason I'm addressing this is because of what my young bloggy friend Jaggy wrote about recently on her blog, about Followers and Lurkers. One of her commenters said she'd left comments before but Jaggy never responded. I could tell Jaggy felt bad about this. But I'm wondering if maybe Jaggy has the same problem and doesn't realize it, that those comments are never brought to our attention. It's not a very good excuse, but I know for me it's mostly lack of time that limits me to going back to what I've already written and looking thru the comments. I feel lucky enough to find time to write, let alone anything else. Even 'visiting' others is a luxury. So that is why I missed a couple written by "Anonymous" recently. I'm not even sure if Anonymous is one person or two different people. One comment was about my blog being a wonderful resource for spreading word about prayer needed for Baby Brandon. The other comment was about my writing:

"Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!"

I should be flattered...I am flattered. But then that old writer's insecurity welled up from deep inside. My older articles aren't so good? So that gnaws on me. And then I go to one of the referrals on my Feedjit that 'sent' someone here and one of my blog entries was listed on Portland's Top 10. And then I'm on cloud 9. And then tomorrow something else will trip me up. And then something else will stroke my ego. It is SO stupid! Why oh why do we question ourselves so much? I remember watching a TV interview that Laura Bush had back when her husband was President and whoever the interviewer was asked her, "How do you deal with the negativity towards your husband in the media?" Mrs. Bush's answer was: "I don't watch the news or read the magazine articles about him." You know, there is wisdom there. What we don't know can't hurt us. Some will say, "Well, that's like the ostrich hiding his head in the sand." True. But there's self-protection in there, too. Since this is a blog that is basically a journal for my grandsons someday, I guess I shouldn't even care whatever anyone else thinks. But the writer inside of me is hovering just under the surface and wants to know. It's a no-win situation.

To read that comment, it wasn't negative. It wasn't even bad. And constructive criticism is something we can all benefit by. But the writer in me...well, she's just going to have to learn to deal with it, isn't she?

Daily Distractions...

Another week bites the dust. Mercy, it's been a hectic one. You probably find that hard to believe since I barely left my house, outside of a quick trip to the library and Fred Meyer with Dylan on Wednesday to pick up some apple juice and milk. My younger grandson Cooper has been suffering from some type of infection...not exactly a UTI but something to do with that area of the body and it caused him undue misery as well as having him go to the bathroom literally every 5 minutes. I kid you not, I must've set him on the potty 30 times on Monday and Tuesday...per day! Today we were finally down to maybe 12 times? And I could distract him from wanting to go so I think the antibiotic is finally kicking in. I think at this stage it's just become a habit with him, ha! And every time in the past he'd say, "Ow!" And most of the day today his bathroom visits were "ow"-less. Poor little guy. I should have biceps like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.

I have forever been a Cat Stevens fan from the very first time I heard a song by him. A few years ago he finally released another CD called "An Other Cup" and it's lovely to listen to when I'm relaxing. A lot of people have a problem with him becoming a convert to Islam but I have never been one influenced by another person's political or religious affiliations or beliefs. To me, he still sounds like Cat Stevens. And that's all that matters to me.

I was so mortified on my birthday. An aunt of ours who is 80 years old stopped by unexpectedly around 8:30 in the morning to bring a plant and card to me. Wouldn't you know it was one of 'those' days where the grandboys' behavior was unpredictable at best. I told her as I opened the door and gave her a big hug, "Enter at your own risk!" She just chuckled and poo-poo'ed me like she could face anything, came in and sat down on the couch. I don't know what possessed Dylan but he had a blanket in his hands and went over and tossed it on her head. Bless her heart, Aunt Lois peeled it off and just laughed. And thankfully it didn't ruin her weekly-salon-visit hairdo. Arggghhhh. Most of the time they're such good boys for me. Always busy, yes. But good. Every now and then...and my birthday was definitely one of those times...they're out to kill each other. I play referee all day, prying them apart and trying to keep Cooper from biting down to Dylan's bones. And Dylan from cleaning Cooper's clock. Once upon a time Dylan still took naps. And that little respite in the middle of the day would give me the chance to catch my breath but outside of a rare day here and there, his naps are history. I am on the go from the time they arrive until they go home. People are always telling me, "I don't know how you do this on a daily basis." Well, I don't either. Outside of the fact I love them to distraction and they give me so much love in return. You know what I don't understand? Grandparents who tell me an hour or two with their grandkids is all they can 'stand'. That sounds even crazier to me than my crazy household.

I think I need to pick up a cheap radio or small appliance and give it to Dylan with a screwdriver and tell him, "It's yours. Do with it what you will." This little boy isn't even 4 years old until March and he's already figuring out how to replace batteries in his toys, how to use a remote to find his DVR shows on DISH. If I tell him something needs to be turned on or tightened, all I have to tell him is "Turn it like your screwdriver to make it tight" and he does. He's got "Lefty loosey, righty tighty" figured out better than I do. At Fred Meyer the other day I forgot to buy M&M's for him and Cooper, something I'd promised, and as we were getting ready to leave the store he spotted them and asked if they could still have them. So I told him to go pick out two packs of them and I handed him $1.50 to pay for them. I told him to go stand in line and when it was his turn he was to give the nice lady the money for the candy. I stood a little off to the side with my shopping cart while I watched him do this. And he did it just perfectly, taking his turn and giving the money to the checker. She's one who we deal with quite often and she praised him to the skies, telling him what a big boy he was. You know, it's we adults who underestimate just how smart kids are. We limit them by the limitations we set for them most of the time. I'm always trying to figure out new and safe ways to let Dylan and Cooper 'expand' intellectually and socially and rarely do they ever disappoint me. One of their current undertakings is getting the coffee maker set up with "Papa's" coffee so they can turn it on just before he gets home from work. I put the water in, then we all sit down on the kitchen floor and Dylan puts in a new filter. He puts in 4 scoops of coffee, Cooper puts in two...then Dylan gets a chair and puts the container into the coffee maker. They love to turn it on in the afternoon, then stand on a chair together, lift the lid, and watch the water come thru the spout and drip down into the coffee carafe. They're fascinated with that and haven't tired of it yet! And then when Papa comes in it's, "Come see, Papa! We made you coffee!" And of course, Papa thinks it's the best coffee ever made. I don't think there's any made that has more love put into it, that's for sure.

Oh, are you wondering how Aunt Lois handled the blanket over her head? She took it off and laughed. And laughed when he shot off one of his space guns in her face, too. Arggghhh. And then, still laughing, she got up and said, "Well, I think I'll leave you to your day." And gave me a hug. And left.

The woman is a saint.

Fate's Fickle Finger is driving me nuts...

I don't know why, but I just read recently that Tina Turner turned 70 years old back around Thanksgiving time. 70!!!! I must admit I've lost track of her in the past decade or so since her 'star' kind of faded after some hits but...even so...70?!?

I know, I know. It's been pretty quiet here lately. The main reason is because my high-speed internet connection has been 'iffy' at best. I don't know why but when we have a lot of east wind blasting at us out of the Columbia River Gorge my internet gets a case of the 'flickers'. On and off and off and on. Usually on thru the day. Usually off when I have my little windows of time where I can sit down and write. Last nite after dinner I sat down to write and....

Well.

So it goes.

I don't have a particularly close family as far as siblings and their extended families go. But I've made a recent connection with one of my nieces. We have never had much contact with each other, mainly because she grew up in California after my brother's divorce. But hopefully we can establish at least some kind of a personal connection here. I sent a message to her sister who recently joined Facebook as well but I've yet to hear from her. There isn't much action going on with her page so I don't think she's checked it and found my note to her. Divorce stinks, doesn't it?

Dear Hubby told me the other day a co-worker came up to him on the quiet when he found Dear Hubby off doing something by himself. This man has had all kinds of marital problems in the past year and over New Year's everything fell apart. He knows Dear Hubby and I have been married forever and he wanted to know how we've managed to have a happy marriage all these years. How do you describe a happy marriage?! Dear Hubby had to really put on his thinking cap on that one. He told Tyler it's mainly because, for 33 of our almost 36 years together, we've been Christians. For another, we allow each other to be our individual selves, too, besides being a couple. He said I never hassle him about anything, and I can say that's true about him, too. We rarely ever fight. At least, not major squabbles. We have our irritable moments with each other but that's just life. We don't 'demand' things of each other. Neither one of us rules the roost. We co-exist quite well, thank you.

Dear Hubby asked me yesterday, "If someone comes to you for advice and you give it and then you find out they didn't follow it, does that drive you crazy?" I thought about it for a moment. "No," I said. I expect it. Humans beings are such funny, fickle, weird, obstinate, clueless, strange beings. I never expect anything out of them except the unexpected. That way I'm never disappointed.

Well, it took forever for my internet to come on this morning and it's now time to head off into my day. Oh, how I hope it's a little less hectic! Cooper's been having urinary issues and needs...or thinks he needs...to go potty every 5 minutes. Sometimes, as soon as I have his diaper back on him, he wants to go again. My heart goes out to him because I know he's uncomfortable but I must've taken him potty 30 times the other day. Up down, up down. But I've been plagued with UTIs for the past couple of years...it's NOT fun. Hopefully the antibiotic will kick in soon and he'll be better. You might say a little prayer for him, bless his heart.

The Power of Prayer

I was just over reading at my friend Dori's blog and read about this darling little baby who is desperately ill. I'm hoping she doesn't mind that I printed his photo here, but I know I have many Christian friends who stop by here and I would love to have you pray for him and his family. Putting a face to this prayer request will help 'personalize' it. I will leave them anonymous, but since Christmas I have several other friends I would love to have you pray for as well who are going thru physical trials. God is an amazing God and I know He still hears and answers prayers. God bless you.

Dori posted this update: "Brandon had a good night. He nursed this morning...alert and active. Blood culture came back clean--no infection to be found in his blood. Doctor informed them that it'll probably be another 24 hours before they get the fever under control. Head of pediatric infectious disease at the Medical College of Virginia is looking after him. He's in good hands...physical and spiritual. Thank you all for the prayers and positive thoughts! Someone's listening."

Thank you, all my wonderful bloggy friends. I knew I could count on you!

I simply believe that some part of the human Self or Soul
is not subject to the laws
of space and time.

~ Carl Jung

In the eyes of the beholder....

I'm now officially 56 years old. I don't use makeup. My everyday wardrobe is made up of jeans and knit tops or t-shirts. My hair is usually dragged back into a ponytail or a little bun-thingy. Dear Hubby tells me I'm beautiful and that's all that matters to me.

So...when, as I walked in to Fred Meyer to do my grocery shopping yesterday, was I ever taken aback when a gentleman stopped in his tracks as he was walking out, looked me over, and whistled at me. It was one of those check-over-my-shoulder-to-see-if-he-means-ME moments. Well, I guess so because I was the only person standing there. As I walked in thru the doors I laughed and told the greeter who'd witnessed it all, "He must've had too much New Years's cheer last nite!" But then, halfway thru my wanderings up and down the aisles another gentleman pushing his cart said, "Mmmmmm-mmmmmm!" as he walked past me. This was getting freaky! Were both of them drunk or hungover or what?!?

I have never been blessed with a big ego. I have never considered myself even remotely pretty. So moments like those stop me in my tracks. You all know how camera-shy I am, how I hate having my picture taken. My family will be hard-pressed to find many of them when I die. No need to do a photo collage of my life at my funeral, that's for sure.

It's funny that, no matter how good our adult life turns out to be, the things that are said or done to us in our early childhood are forever etched in our mind. No matter how far down you dig, somehow a little bit of it remains and keeps us off balance. I was told all thru my younger years how ugly I was, how fat..."solid as the Rock of Gibraltar", my dad used to say as he'd horse-bite my knee with a hard pinch. I rarely look in mirrors even to this day...enough to comb my hair and look presentable and that's about it. Cameras freeze me...I can NOT act natural or smile for real. I've grown comfortable in my own skin as I've gotten older, but compliments such as the ones those two gentlemen gave me make me feel panicky and vulnerable. The first thing that comes to my mind is, "They're making fun of me!" How silly.

Oh well. I don't even know why I wrote about this. Maybe to make someone else out there who feels the way I do know there are plenty of us out there. The Ugly Ducklings who will never be able to accept that in someone else's eyes, maybe they really have turned into a Swan.