Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~ Gene Perret

Last nite Dear Hubby flew off to Portland.  I can't wait to hear how surreal it feels to him to be 'back home'.  He was scheduled to land around 9:40 pm, which is 12:40 am our time here.  He asked me, "Do you want me to call and leave a message to let you know I arrived ok?"  I said no, the phone would ring...our oldest grandson spent the nite with me last nite.  I'm sure he arrived safely.  I don't sweat stuff like that.  So with juggling around the time differences, I most likely won't hear from him until some time mid-morning.  I'm sure he was exhausted.  He got up at 4 am yesterday our time...which was 1 am their time...put in almost a full day's work...then a 5-hour non-stop flight from Detroit to Portland...then the excitement of being picked up by an old friend...then going to our favorite aunt's house to stay...and visiting with her...and then winding down.  I have no idea how his mind worked its way around all that excitement.  I'm tired just writing about it.

So I have almost two weeks until he arrives home again.  He's on a week's vacation and is attending an old-fashioned Camp Meeting at our church in Portland.  He'll also be visiting his mom and his sisters and their families.  And then he'll be driving a new vehicle cross-country for the company he works for.  He'll be one busy man.  This is the longest amount of time we'll be apart in 37 years of marriage.

I was looking up marriage quotes for my title.  The vast majority were sarcastic and snarky.   What a pessimistic and negative outlook people have towards matrimony.  I heard in passing on the news a week or two ago where studies show only 40% of couples who live together are married.  If everyone goes in to marriage with the thought in the back of their minds "If I don't like it, I'm leaving!" of course it's not going to succeed.  If a person listens...truly the words of their marriage vows they'll realize even those don't say "Happily ever after".  It's a lifetime commitment for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health till death do us part.  It doesn't promise fireworks and wealth and sexual bliss.  There's a lot of living that goes on between "I do" and goodbye forever.  There are days where everything your spouse does irritates the living daylights out of you.  And other days where you fall in love all over again.  There are moments where you sit and wonder how you're ever going to make ends meet.  And moments where you sit and share a cup of coffee out on the porch on a peaceful summer evening.  It's not something you sit back and take for granted.  At least, you shouldn't.  No...a good marriage is something worth its weight in gold.  Especially in this day and age, it's something precious, something worth treasuring.  Not to say it doesn't take work, but we have found in our many years together that communication is the 'cement' in keeping the 'structure' sound and firm.  And compromise.  Selfishness does not make a happy union.

With that said...and where it came from at 4:30 in the morning I have no clue...I'll keep the home fires burning the next couple of weeks.  And wander around like half of me is missing.  Because half  of me is.


Betty said...

You said it. Commitment and compromise. That´s the key. To often women think the man is there to fulfill all their dreams...which is a bit unrealistic.
I hope you keep busy and the two weeks will be over in no time.

Anita said...

If married people heard the stories from widows and widowers, to hear how it feels to live without someone, they might appreciate their spouses more.

I recently read A Widows Story by Joyce Carol Oates, and I have a friend whose husband passed in Feb. The adjustments these women went through (my friend still going through) are heart wrenching.

Some of the things they miss(ed), I could not have imagined without hearing it.