Monday, May 7, 2012
Fret not thyself... ~ Psalm 37
And yet, sometimes a certain concern will come along and I find myself chewing away at that old bone of fretfulness again. It concerns a loved one who just can't seem to get their act together. Who slides along in life without putting any effort forth to better their position or quality of life. And everyone around this person wants to see them succeed, wants to see them get some kind of vision of moving on into the here and now and quit dwelling on the past. To realize we're all getting mentally exhausted from trying to help them keep it together. To realize we're not going to be here forever to keep coming behind them and straightening their life out. To know how frustrating it is to pitch in to try to help, only to know we'll be right back at square one in a month or two. To know how angry it makes us to take time out of our own busy schedules to help with things that would take very little effort on their part to keep under control. We all spend a considerable amount of time trying to figure out how we can help this person realize they need more help than we have to offer anymore.
I am speaking from the heart here. I am not being critical or judgmental. I am saying this because I love this person. I want to see them happy, to be able to face a new day with a sense of anticipation instead of an "Ugh. Another day to get thru" attitude. I want to have it settled in my heart that when I'm gone this person is at a place in life where they're happy. That would ease a tremendous amount of my fretfulness.
I don't know. It's so true how none of us can see the forest for the trees when we're in the middle of something. A bad marriage where everyone around them has the solution as to how to improve things except for the two who are married to each other. Situations like that. We can all see the solutions in our situation, too, but until the person in the middle of it sees the need it's like bucking up against a brick wall and being knocked back a few feet every time we try to bring it up. I heard a sermon once many, many years ago and the minister used a phrase that has stuck with me all these years. He said, "You've got to have a want to." He was referring to spiritual things as far as wanting to stick with the gospel. But it is so true for everything in life to succeed. You have to have a want to. Not a "Welllllllllllll, maybe I can change." Or the idea in the back of your mind that everyone will come bail you out. Again. No. It's kind of like the situation where the little boy cried "Wolf!" too many times. The others are going to give up.
I don't want to say I'm at the point of giving up. I love this loved one too much to do that. But if we could only help this person see their need to give themselves a good shaking and toss off the layers and layers of apathy. To begin to enjoy life instead of burying themselves away from the world. There's so much out there. If only they could chop down a few of those trees in the forest and see the sunlight.