I wrote a post not long ago...well, not long ago according to how quickly my life seems to zip by, it's so full and busy all the time it seems. But it was about stress brought on by a long-standing prayer that had gone unanswered. A serious prayer. And I couldn't understand why God just wouldn't answer it because, in my eyes, it didn't seem like it would be that hard to do.
Maybe it was a trial to refine me. Maybe He just allowed it to go on to make me realize how much of the time I need Him in my life. And that would be all the time, every minute of every day. He did answer it, or He's begun to. It's still a work in progress but I can see His hand in it and how He's resolving it, how He's caused the dust to settle down, the turmoil to ease. It was beyond human healing and at times seemed hopeless but I serve an amazing God who has never lost a battle. He's right there at the front line and never surrenders. How could I ever doubt Him? But it wasn't so much a matter of doubting Him...it was a matter of trusting Him, standing back, and letting go. He's had the solution all the time. I think all He was waiting for was for me to realize that.
A few weeks later, I sit here and reread what I wrote. I can hardly relate to it now. I read it as if it was written by someone else. It wasn't like it was POW! In my face instant relief! It was coming back and reading this and realizing hey, it's gone, that mind-numbing all-consuming anxiety. When did it melt away?! And then such gratitude to my Savior who knows every hair on my head and cares for me. In the moments of my busy day, between child care and errands and house work and volunteering and....the list is endless...He just quietly took care of the problem and sat back and waited for me to realize that prayer works. In His time.