Saturday, September 27, 2008

Weighing on the scales and finding less of me...

This morning Dear Hubby decided to step on the scales. Even tho he's stronger than a Missouri mule he's a slender-built man with long, lean muscle. He could press 1,000 pounds and never bulk up. His frame isn't built that way, much to his chagrin. His weight rarely fluctuates more than around 5 pounds, if that. If it starts creeping up he cuts sweets and starch out of his diet and he's disciplined enough to do it until he's in his weight 'comfort zone'. This morning, much to his pleasure, he was smack-dab in the middle where he likes to stay.

Scales have been my nemesis for....oh...40 years now. read that right -- 40 years. My love/hate relationship began with them about the time I was 14 and I was tagged with the nickname of "Moose" by my Dad and brothers. I won't go in to all the damage that did to my fragile psyche for years but suffice it to say I know it certainly didn't do much for my developing body image. Ironically enough I wasn't even that heavy at that stage in my life. Actually, it was mostly pubescent flesh that was having a hard time deciding where it was going to settle...on my chest or on my hips or both. I am relatively tall, at least for girls of my generation -- 5'7" by the time I was 12 and also blessed with the bigger-boned frame of my Swedish ancestors. Anyway, I've blogged before about my issues with eating, bulimia, and laxative abuse that occurred mostly in my later after-two-babies years, when the kids were young toddlers and I couldn't really use the excuse of 'baby fat' any more. And the day a woman I know came up and asked me, "Are you pregnant again or just still heavy from your last pregnancy?" was one of those stellar moments in a person's life where you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. Thus started several years of yo-yo dieting, ranging from my all-time high twice of 221 pounds to a low of 133 that made me so skinny my mom kept asking me, "Are you sure you aren't anorexic?!" I could honestly say no but I sure am thankful she didn't ask about bulimia or about scarfing down 5 or 6 ExLax at a time. All the years of abuse took its toll on my health big time, and I found myself hospitalized in 1999 with a very serious case of erosive esophagitis that has plagued me with esophageal spasms ever since, burned my taste buds forever, and forced me to change my diet completely.


Sort of completely.

What I could eat was altered forever. But I could still eat enough of some not-so-healthy foods that packed pounds on. Since the onset of all my midlife female problems almost 3 years ago I've kinda/sorta played around with losing some weight. But when I went in to have my hysterectomy I'd let my weight slowly work its way back up to 194.

Ouch. I can't tell you how I cringe sharing that number with you.

That was back on April 7th. Today I stepped on the scales and I weighed 164. Ten pounds away from what used to be my Weight Watcher goal. For the first time in more years than I can remember

I weigh less than my husband!

These have not been easily-lost pounds. They've come from illness and antibiotics and lack of appetite. But they're a good beginning to getting settled into a healthy eating style. I think I've finally learned my lesson and I have no desire to try and be 'sneaky' any more. It's just not worth it. I never realized how good it felt to feel well and healthy until that was taken away from me. All my abuse has had that egg-sized gall stone forming for years, I'm don't 'grow' something like that overnite. Just before I left the hospital last Friday my surgeon told me that outside of the hysterectomy and having my gall bladder removed I'm actually in very good health according to my blood work and labs. He said I should finally be heading back to feeling well again. I certainly pray so. I have two darling little grandbabies depending on me and hopefully many more years to live. And I want to do it right from now on. I will do it right.

You just watch me!


Dori said...

Ya know, we don't own a set of scales here. Haven't for a long time. I remember my "defining moment"--I was stationed overseas with the Navy and the fleet was in. One night a group of sailors--drunk--were walking by on the other side of the road and they mooed at me. Mooed. I had attempted diets and whatever and everything failed. That night I made up my mind that I was sick and tired of being fat. And I lost the weight. Now, 15 years later and with the exception of two pregnancies, I've maintained pretty much the same size and weight. So, here's to Former Fat Chicks! Well done!

I gotta tell ya though, you running around with those two little ones is probably the best (and most enjoyable) weight loss/fitness regiment you could have!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

congrats, im jealous. I'm probably going to eat myself to death.

Lynda said...

Congrats! You are an incredible woman.

Judy said...


I always thought that if I couldn't taste food I wouldn't have a weight problem.

You just blew my theory.

(we have WAAAAY too much in common!)

Anonymous said...

Well, my theory is that if I did not have to literally LIVE in the kitchen, I would be thinner. Not THIN, mind you, thinner!!

Congrats Kris...that is a VERY good weight for a woman our age and station in life!! It is possible that you will loose more while running about after 2 toddlers!! I know I loose pounds every time I go to help out with my grandchildren for more than a day. Trouble is, that is much too rare of an occurance. Though I am going for part of a day this week. I am glad their parents take care of them...just wish we saw them more than we do.

I have a ton of weight to loose...if I want my health problems to improve. With the looks of things financial these days however, our wishes for weight loss may well come true!!

Jaggy said...


I, like dori, do not own a scale. When I moved out of my parents' house, I made a conscious decision to not buy one. My self-worth is not mandated by numbers but by how I feel about me on any given day.

Like you, though, I take a certain amount of pleasure in the fact that my boyfriend (after six months of feeding him) finally weighs more than me. I lost a little weight (five or ten pounds maybe), but filling him up and out helped. He weighs the most in his life, a paltry 140, so I don't feel too bad about it either.

Sheri said...

Congratulations. I'm at my all time high of 222. For three weeks I've been dieting and going to the gym everyday for one hour of cardio. The results? 0 (that's ZERO) pounds lost. I'm on drugs which cause weight gain (Prednisone, Cymbalta and Lyrica) but I'm truly discouraged. After a lifetime (40+ years) of yo-yo dieting, I just want to be a healthy weight--not a skinny mini. I, like you, am 5'7" with Swedish and German BIG bones. I'd love to weigh 164 and weigh less than my totally fit hubby (170) for the first time in 12 years.