The future is always beginning now. ~ Mark Strand, "Reasons for Moving"

I am...almost...a new homeowner in Michigan. Our offer was accepted, the preliminary paperwork is done. The little brick bungalow is...almost...officially ours. How is it that before November I'd never even heard of Livonia, Michigan....and now Dear Hubby and I own a house there? Today Dear Hubby called me from work and said "Do you know we're moving to MICHIGAN?!" He said it suddenly hit him, what we're about to do. And the emotion he felt as he realized it was, "I'm free!!!"

Well...not, not free, exactly. No one's ever free. But the idea of a new start at a new life in a new place is pretty exhilarating. But we humans like feeling safe. And settled. And routine keeps us grounded and focused and....comfortable. I think Dear Hubby and I have just gotten tired of being comfortable. We're still young enough to set out on an adventure.

A while back a neighbor verbally attacked me about the life that I live here in Portland. He said some really hurtful things and sent me reeling. But before she died, his wife had told me he's bipolar and when he gets lazy about taking his meds he can become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He certainly showed me his dark side that day. But when I found out we were moving I told him, "You know, you told me my life is so boring and miserable I decided to do something about it. And when I decide to change, I really change!" Not that I've ever felt my life is boring or miserable, but he surely did. And he did apologize after it happened. Profusely. And we're still friends. In fact, I'm letting his cats in and out of his house while he's visiting one of his daughters at the coast this weekend. Let bygones be bygones. Life's too short to hold a grudge.

My pastor's wife messaged me on Facebook yesterday, asking me for my son's new address in Michigan. She was under the impression that he and his family had already moved. No, they're still here. But she did ask me to make sure we get our new addresses to her so we can stay in touch. I told her I could already give her our new address and I wrote it out for her. Boy, if that wasn't a surreal moment. It felt very strange after living in our house here in Portland for over 28 years. My son and his wife are flying to Detroit tomorrow to look at two houses they're trying to make their final decision on. Either one is beautiful. Either one would fit their family well. Both of them are within a few miles of our house there. What a miracle we'll be able to live in the same town! How has this happened?! GOD made it happen.

I need to head for bed. I'm meeting a niece of mine for breakfast tomorrow morning. Our official goodbye. Then breakfast with my best friend Lizzee on Sunday...we keep managing to find one.....more....day to see each other. But I really do think this one will be the last one. Sunday evening Dear Hubby's work crew is taking us out to dinner. I have Monday off but I think I'm going to tackle the kitchen cabinets and our bedroom closet shelves and take a truckload or two to Goodwill.

One more week of taking care of the grandboys. Then a couple of weeks to prepare for the move. Then filling up a huge moving van with our stuff, our daughter's stuff, the kids' stuff. Then boarding a jet for Detroit.

Would someone please wake me up? I know this has got to be a dream.....

Where we love is home, Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Shaniko, Oregon

Life in Oregon is beginning to shut down. Final farewells are becoming a part of life. More each week. There is a bittersweetness to every place we go now, knowing it will probably be the last time we'll visit it in our lifetime. Each person, each place...it's like a new tick on Life's Checklist. One more down. Less to go. Closure.

Since visiting Michigan two weeks ago with my daughter-in-law for a long weekend of whirlwind house hunting...since finding the house that's looking - more likely- each day to become our new home...I feel myself drawing further away from life here, yearning more for what's awaiting us 2300 miles away. I find myself imagining thru the day where I might place this piece of furniture, that piece, in our new home. I see myself re-landscaping the yard to what I love...where I might hang a wind chime or two, which window I'll place the bird feeder near. I imagine my grandsons and me out walking the new streets, discovering new 'treasures', getting acquainted with our new surroundings. I'll have a new kitchen window to gaze out of as I wash my daily dishes. A new view of the four seasons changing. I'll wait to hear Dear Hubby's truck pull into a driveway at the end of the day instead of seeing it pull up to the curb in front of our house here. I will see new birds at the feeder. I'll need to get a book on native birds of the region to identify them for Dylan and Cooper. I'll find out how long it will take me to feel comfortable inside, moving around in the dark. I'm sure I'll wake up in the middle of the nite, not knowing where I'm at for a few moments. I'll be getting used to new 'settling' sounds as the house embraces me and takes me in. I will feel the ghosts of the family who built it and raised a family there, who so lovingly cared for their home. And I will love and care for it, too.

It is a wonderful feeling to know you're in the center of God's will in your life. It's a remarkable experience to sit back and let God work things out in His way, not interfering and being content to let things flow as they will. To see His wisdom in how He takes care of every little detail that comes along in such a monumental undertaking, completely establishing a life for us so far from here. There is no fear. There is no anxiety. It is in God's hands, and God makes no mistakes.

And as each door closes behind us there is a deep peace. A settled peace. Closure.

Homeward Bound....I wish I was homeward bound....

I don't know how to start writing tonite. I don't know if I even remember how to write. My mind is so fractured and full and spilling over. I can hardly keep a cohesive thought in my head. My focus is non-existent. My daughter-in-law and I flew back to Detroit last Thursday and spent 3 whirlwind days house hunting with Bill the Real Estate Guy. A wonderful man who was so friendly, so funny, and so charming. He and I got along like a house afire and my d-i-l spent a lot of time in the back seat laughing at us. She texted my daughter, "I never knew your mom was so goofy!" My daughter texted back, "Yup. This is what I grew up with." Do I take that as an insult or a compliment?! Haha! Actually, the two of us had a great time together. I think we viewed something like 30 houses? But we finally found two that we like, within a mile of each other and only about 10 minutes from work for everyone. Dear Hubby and I are putting in an offer on Monday and we'll see where it goes. He told me as he was leaving for work that Thursday morning, "I hope you find the house of your dreams back there. You deserve it." No wonder I love the man. As long as he has a room to tinker in and to put all his hunting gear and trophies....which he will...and a place in the yard to target shoot with his longbow...which he will... he doesn't care about any of the other details. He told me wherever we've lived in these 36 years together I've always made it home...and he knows I'll do the same with this one as well.

This is the house I found. This is the house I love. This, I hope, will become home.

If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it. ~ Toni Morrison

Well, it's official now. The refrigerator magnets are all packed away. We really must be moving! All the art work and photos are boxed up. All but two of my house plants are gone, given to friends who I know will give them good homes. The glass, porcelain, and china objects from my curio and china cabinets are all lovingly wrapped up and carefully tucked away, with hopes they'll survive the 2300 mile trek 2/3 of the way across America to their new home. Which hasn't even been looked at in person, let alone bought and ready for occupancy. But that should soon change. My daughter-in-law and I are flying out of Portland around 6 am in the morning to go house hunting for a few days together. Wish us luck, not only in finding homes but also luck with the weather so we don't face all kinds of delays or, perish the thought, cancellations!

I thought when we began this amazing odyssey to Michigan that I'd find the time to blog about it and update at least halfway regularly. Well, obviously that hasn't been happening. Too much to do and too little time to do it in. It's looking more likely we'll be moving in the first part of February. We're trying to prepare our house to put it on the market as well as sort and purge and pack. As well as taking care of my grandsons 55 hours per week. As well as trying to find time to see beloved friends and family one last time before our day of departure. I feel like my sinuses are made of sponge, I've done so much crying in the past few weeks. I've always considered myself pretty strong when it comes to emotions but when you're confronted with realizing that a lot of these goodbyes are probably final ones with a lot of people...well, it's a lot to take in. With the threat of gas prices reaching $5 per gallon in the not-too-distant future, it will be a real sacrifice for any one to come or go. When we're finally in Michigan, we're finally in Michigan. Very sobering.

But still....even so....we truly feel we're doing the right thing for so many reasons, many of which I don't feel like indulging in public. Suffice it to say we're very comfortable with our decision and can see the Lord working it out, every step of the way.

I had lunch with a very dear friend on Sunday, my lunch lady buddy Miss Ivona. We met in 1996 when we both first became lunch ladies for the Portland schools. We became instant friends. As we were talking I said to her, "Now, isn't this ironic? Isn't it the human condition? We may really like or love somebody for years but it isn't until we're faced with losing them, possibly forever, where we finally come forth and tell them how much they mean to us? How much we'll miss them?" She knew exactly what I was saying. And we never did say goodbye to each other. She said if we don't see each other here again on earth we'll see each other in eternity where we'll be lunch ladies together again feeding all the baby angels. Oh, I do LOVE that woman!

And so a new chapter starts tomorrow, finding homes. I am excited and full of anticipation as we prepare to step out into our futures. As much as I've loved this old house we've lived in for the past 28 years, like my daughter said the other day, with everything coming down off the walls, the boxes stacked all over everywhere, "It doesn't really feel like home any more, Mom."

No, it doesn't.

But when those things go back up on the walls, back on the refrigerator, when my bird feeder is hung outside a window and new birds I've never seen before perch to eat, when my grandsons come rushing in to stay with me in our new house...well, it will begin to feel like home.

I truly believe that.

Home is where the heart is.