Once upon a time I had an organized mind. I could remember things. For days, for weeks...for years, even, if I had to. I don't know when my mind decided to go out to lunch and never come back, but it did.
Not that I can't remember things. It's just that I'm on overload most of the time and my poor brain cells can't seem to keep up with what's constantly being dished into them. Instead of asking me what might be important to remember, they kind of sort thru them and discard this here, that there, without consulting with me about it. It was worse when I was on my hormone drugs. I couldn't seem to stay focused on anything and my mind jittered and twittered all over the universe and back again. I think I can empathize now with anyone who has ADD.
Some of my forgetfulness stems from my menopausal age, I know. My ability to concentrate is nothing like it used to be. I used to be able to sit down and read a book in a few hours. Now I'm lucky if I finish one in a few weeks. I'll sit down, thinking I want to read, and I end up reading the same page over and over again because my mind keeps wandering. I go out to the kitchen and open the refrigerator and can't remember why. I set my keys down, telling myself to remember they're here, only to be rushing around searching for them a few days later. I go to the store to buy a gallon of milk specifically...then come home with everything but. Ah well. What's really bad is when I put away an important paper or document in a place I know I'll remember...but when it comes time to retrieve it I know I'll never find it.
The one consolation in all this is Dear Hubby is getting forgetful, too. He's also on overload, busier now than ever. But we're fortunate in that what I seem to forget, he tends to remember. Or vice versa. So somehow or other we muddle our way thru our days without misplacing too many things or forgetting too many appointments. His main item of forgetfulness is where he placed his eyeglass case. Mine is remembering where I put my wallet. Or my 4-Way. Or the dog leash. Or my favorite pen. Or the new book of stamps I bought and thought I put in the little wooden box I store stamps and address labels in but didn't. Hmmmmmmm.
Someday, I know, Life will slow down. Someday I'll have plenty of time on my hands with nothing to do but sit and remember. I know the ability is still there, amongst all the flotsam and jetsam of my brain. Someday people won't be depending on me or wanting a piece of me here or a piece of me there and I'll no longer feel torn in a thousand directions at once. I'll have time to relax and think and focus. But right now is not that time. So I'll continue on my absent-minded way for a few years longer and hope I remember when it's time to come in out of the rain.