Home Safe

I walk across these old wooden floors,

these planks of

Scarred and battered

living.

Life has passed over them.

Many lives.

Other bare souls,

calloused and rough-skinned.

They've trod.

They've felt.

And my toes trace each groove,

the crossover from the silky weave

of the faded carpet

to the cool, rough boards,

the bits of old nail heads

bruising the soft places

so many times

I've lost count.

A sliver here,

A sliver there.

Stains and scratches.

Gouges.

No beauty there...not for the

artist's eye.

But for me

priceless.

Because my bare soul

has found comfort here.

Refuge.

When I walk these floors

I am home.

Safe.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.....

OK. So last Saturday I went bra shopping, right? I tried on several different styles and brands and bought two of what I thought were the most comfortable. Right. There's a vast difference between trying on bras and then wearing them for an entire day.

I. HATE. BRAS.

Hmmmmmmmmm. I seem to be repeating that line a lot.

Well, to make a long and miserable story short, I'm going bra shopping again today.

Oh, joy.

And I will never ever never buy underwire bras again as long as I live.

They have to have been designed by a man.

By a man who hates women.

Brain Strain

I am sooooooooooo tired tonite. It has been one. long. week.

Long long long.

The boys were so naughty on our long walk today I told Dylan if they didn't straighten up their act there would be no more walks. I don't know if it was because it was so warm and so muggy when we took off around 9 am or because Cooper is having a hard time with teething or what the problem was but the two of them were fighting WWIII in their tandem stroller. Cooper would not stay facing forward and kept pinching and scratching Dylan who, in turn, slapped him on the head, pulled his hair, and kicked at the back of Cooper's seat. Oh my, but did we have fun shopping in WalMart. When we finally arrived home I was never so happy to park a stroller in my life. It also helped that it was Cooper's naptime so after a change of diaper and a bottle popped into his mouth he was out like a light. Dylan sat on the couch quietly watching "Curious George" so I got a little bit of a respite. Then it was Round Two the rest of the afternoon. They aren't often like this, thank goodness. But when Cooper is really fretful and clingy when his teeth are coming thru, Dylan melts down if Cooper's crying is loud and prolonged, which it was today. I'm not sure if it overstimulates Dylan because Dylan has extremely sensitive hearing...but, oh how nice it was to hand them over to Mom and know I have a weekend to sit back and relax. My age definitely caught up with me today.

So...because I'm too tired to think up anything original I'm snatching another bunch of Random Questions from Jaggy's blog. Just because I can.

What curse word do you use the most? I don't curse, not in the usual sense. But when I'm extremely agitated what comes out of my mouth is "You dirty bird!!!"

Do you own an iPod? What's an iPod?

Who on your MySpace "Top 8" do you talk to the most? MySpace has never interested me whatsoever. And I deactivated Facebook for the final time about a month ago, I think it was.

What time is your alarm clock set for? Lately, with Dear Hubby on his super-early work shift, it's been set for 12:45 am. And he's been waking me when he leaves for work around 2:45.

What color is your room? I'm taking this means our bedroom. Sort of an aqua-minty-green?

Flip flops or sneakers? Barefoot, barefoot, and barefoot. Otherwise, very comfortable walking shoes.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take the picture. I absolutely detest having my picture taken and I never like any of those with me in it. Never.

What was the last movie you watched? I'm pretty sure it was "No Country for Old Men"

Do any of your friends have children? Yup, and most have grandkids. Even a few great-grands.

Has anyone ever called you lazy? Lazy is a word not in my vocabulary. Ask my daughter.

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? Once in a blue moon I'll take an over-the-counter sleep aid that I buy at Walmart. Equate brand, I think it is.

What CD is currently in your CD player? Annie Lenox's "Bare". I couldn't find it for the longest time and when I did a lot of purging this past weekend I found it tucked in amongst a bunch of old exercise clothes I used to wear when I rode my exercise bike on a daily basis.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Regular white milk and it has to be super-cold.

Has anyone told you a secret this week? Good grief, I hardly ever have conversation with anyone over the age of 3 most weeks.

Have you ever given someone a hickey? Yeah. Dear Hubby but many many moons ago. When we were kids once upon a time a million years ago.

Who was the last person to call you? My daughter called to see what we were having for dinner.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back? I'm sure someone must tho I think I must be pretty boring material. I don't gossip and I don't do much chitchat either. And I rarely talk to anyone on the phone outside of Dear Hubby and my kids.

Did you watch cartoons as a child? Oh, yeh! "Mighty Mouse", "The Flintstones", "The Jetsons", "Top Cat", "Mr. Magoo" "Bugs Bunny" "Daffy Duck", "Huckleberry Hound", "Quick Draw McGraw"...on and on. Mind you, most of these were the originals.

Are you shy around the opposite sex? Not at all. In fact, I'm more comfortable with men than I am with women.

What movie do you know every line to? When I was a teenager it was "Romeo & Juliet", the one with Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey. From way back when. My English class went to see it at an afternoon matinee.

Do you own any band t-shirts? Nope. Not even Grateful Dead.

Do you read for fun? I read for fun, to learn, to expand my horizons, to escape.

Do you cry a lot? Most definitely no.

Who was the last person to text message you? I wouldn't even begin to know how to send or open up a text message. I can barely figure out how to use our cell phone.

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Desktop PC.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? No way.

What is the weather like? It's just past sunset, still quite warm and muggy with hazy high clouds.

When was the last time you slept on the floor? Sheeesh...I can't remember. It's been a long time.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function? At least 7

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? No.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar? EXTREMELY! Tho I have my own personal quirks on my blog, such as spelling "nite" and "thru". Why, I don't know.

Have you ever been to Six Flags? I don't even know where Six Flags is.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? The opposite sex.

Do you like cottage cheese? I LOVE cottage cheese!

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? My left side and my back. I have to have one leg out from under the covers, and I usually throw the covers off thru the nite because, since my hysterectomy, I get SO WARM!!!!

Have you ever bid for something on eBay? I don't have a clue how eBay works.

Do you enjoy giving hugs? More as I'm getting older. Physical affection, for many reasons, is something I never have been and never will be very comfortable with.

What song did you last sing out loud? "Agnus Deo"

Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with? Katharine Hepburn was the first one to come to mind.

What one thing do you wish you had? Time. Definitely more time.

Oooh ooh ooh!

There's nothing I love more when the boys and I head out for a walk than to have a new book at the library to pick up!

Especially by an author I love.

Which happens to be the case today.

Something great to read at the archery range tomorrow.

Woooooo hooooo!

It's a Sign of the Times....

It's the Best Day Ever!

I don't know why, but this quote from an episode of "Spongebob Squarepants" caught my ear the other day and I LOVE it:

"This was supposed to be my perfect day...

and then everything turned to doo-doo!"

"How's your long weekend going?"

...you might ask. Well, I'm definitely not sitting around in my bathrobe and nightshirt. What did I do yesterday? Ummmm...grocery shopping at 7 am. Bra shopping at Target...finally.

I don't know what I have against bra shopping exactly outside of the fact it's a necessary evil. Oh, for those long ago days when I was young and didn't need one, HA! I never burned any bras but I sure didn't care to wear them, either. I guess that goes back to my previous post where I still have a little hippie lingering somewhere deep inside of me.

I digress, tho. I worked out in the front yard for a few hours and got it all spiffy and neat. Dear Hubby worked part of the day and when he came home we drove over to Vancouver to do some thrift store shopping and to let our son's dog Max out for a run and a potty break...he's home alone while our son and his family are on a road trip to Nevada for the weekend to meet up with my d-i-l's mother. Her mother is taking our Chloe dog and giving her a good and loving home. Far far away. Near Dallas, Texas. But at least we know she'll be getting all the love and attention she deserves and was so sorely missing here thruout my busy days. I had another good boo-hoo Friday evening as I washed my dishes. I am going to miss our little girl.

I found a wooden chest at the Salvation Army in Hazel Dell yesterday, the perfect size to store diapers in. I'd had a small wicker foot locker I'd used but it had seen it's better day. My daughter put a "Free" sign on that and stuck it out in the front yard last evening. I noticed it's gone this morning. I cleaned up the high chair and put it out there this morning with a "Free" sign, hoping someone will take that off my hands, too. Cooper hates sitting in it and I found the perfect small table for the boys at the Goodwill on Friday that he and Dylan can sit at and eat, as well as play with their Fisher Price garage and line cars and trucks on. Neither boy ever liked high chairs.

Yesterday morning as I was eating breakfast, this story came on the news. This has been eating away at me inside ever since. I can only imagine how traumatized the little girl who survived must be. And how traumatized the witnesses, police, and rescue workers were who had to deal with it. What is wrong with people who would do this to their own children?! Why not hand their kids over to someone who could care and love for them than to do something like this?? It's beyond my comprehension.

I did the Honest Blogger but I haven't done a real meme for a while. I found this one when catching up over at Miss Jaggy's blog the other day. I love memes. She has great ones.

RANDOM QUESTIONS

1. Last time you had butterflies? The last time I can remember having them is when I went to the State Penetentiary for a chapel service and had to speak in front of the inmates there.

2. How is your mood today? Not too shabby. I am thoroughly enjoying having 3 days off. I really needed them.

3. Do you like seafood? Yes. Salmon especially.

4. Mints or chewing gum? Definitely chewing gum. I especially like Extra Polar Ice or Peppermint.

5. What do you do all the time in a car? I hum a lot, under my breath so I don't drive Dear Hubby crazy. Why I do it, I have no idea.

6. Do you like to read? I LIVE to read but have very little time for it. When I do find the time, I devour a book.

7. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle. Oh, sure. Lots of times. Especially at lakes or the beach when I was a kid.

8. Who was the last person to make you cry? The card my daughter gave me for Mother's Day made me teary-eyed. It was beautiful.

9. What is one thing you miss about your past? Having no worries, no cares, and the freedom to do whatever I wanted to when I wanted to, for the most part. I grew up in a small town and we could ride our bikes anywhere...lots of personal freedom.

10. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you dated? Just about everyone I dated was my age or just a few months younger or older.

11. When was the last time you cried? Friday evening while I did the dishes.

12. Do you ever use your full name? Yes, for legal purposes.

13. What is one thing you've learned about life? It's never predictable.

14. What was the last movie you watched? "No Country for Old Men."

15. Is anyone jealous of you? If they are they have no reason to be.

16. Has a friend ever used you? No...real friends don't use people.

17. Who was the last person you drove with? Dear Hubby.

18. What is something that you want to do within the next week? Get the side and back flowerbeds cleaned out.

19. Who was the last person you hugged? Dear Hubby.

20. Do you use post-its? When I can find any in my desk, which I should also get cleaned out and in order next week. I can't remember the last time I sorted everything out in it and I can barely open or close it.

21. Do you have more friends who are men or women? Women, but I actually prefer the friendship of men. Less complicated.

22. Have you ever made out with someone you weren't dating?: Yes, and both times were quite thrilling!

23. Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend' ? Most definitely.

24. Do you care what people think of you? In general, no. But I hope they think of me as a kind and decent person when and if they ever do think of me.

25. Is silence really golden? YES!!!!!!!!!

10 Honest Things About Me....

Because she doesn't like to pick and choose she didn't exactly select me for this but I liked it so I'm going to use it...that would be Donna. I have only half an hour until I need to get buzzing around here, preparing for the grandboys so let's see how fast my brain is functioning at 4:30 am:

1. I used to identify myself as shy. But as I'm getting older and more introspective I think I'll just label myself as "quiet". I can be very vocal and assertive when I need to be. Which isn't often. But I am not afraid to be so when the time arrives.

2. Sometimes when I go down to do laundry and I'm home alone, if I realize the clothes I have on could use a good washing, I'll strip down to the nitty-gritty and toss everything in the washer. It's very liberating to do laundry...um...unencumbered by clothes.

3. I cannot stand to eat any other chicken noodle soup than Campbell's. Well, my homemade is my favorite but that's not a 'brand'.

4. I get very annoyed with rambling conversations, tho I don't show it for politeness' sake. Get to the point and get done with it! Trouble is, I have a tendency to ramble on myself sometimes.

5. I am not a control freak but I do love order.

6. I am still a hippie at heart.

7. I never went to a high school dance or prom.

8. I still love to see Dear Hubby's truck pull up to the curb at the end of his day. And I'll be married 35 years next month!

9. Motherhood scared me. Grandmotherhood fulfills me.

10. I am an incurable observer of life. Humanity fascinates me!

Lately this is the way I picture myself living my life. Peering over the edge. Too busy to be a full participant in anything.

This past month I've been to the beach twice. Once planned. Once unplanned.

My son had surgery.

The grandboys had colds.

The grandboys had stomach viruses.

Diarhhea diapers.

Yuck.

Dear Hubby had a birthday.

I spent this past weekend in Pendleton. Not truly planned but not spur-of-the-moment, either. Just a couple of days' notice.

I finished two books.

We had to give up Chloe dog.

It's rained.

One day it was around 60 degrees. The next, in the 80's. That's Oregon for you.

I cut back runners from our neighbor's plum tree that have threatened to become full-fledged trees.

I took a truckload of junk to a Neighborhood Clean Up drop-off site.

I have walked. And walked. And walked.

And today?

I'll walk some more.

Dear Hubby and I are back from spending a weekend over in Pendleton for his birthday, which is today. While he attended an archery shoot in Hermiston yesterday afternoon I finally had the time to finish this book by Maeve Binchy. Reading one of her books is like sinking down into a vat of melted chocolate...delicious! The weather was gorgeous, the company superb, the motel bed comfortable. It was wooooonderfuuuuuuuuulllllllll!

And something new since I've travelled this far east up the Columbia River Gorge...wind turbines dotting the hilltops. They are so eerie and yet so pretty at the same time. Thankfully they aren't in the Gorge...they start just east of it. The beauty of the Gorge itself is too pristine to defile in any way, shape, or form.

In my humble opinion, that is.

A small portion in a day of my life....

I asked myself

as I trudged along, pushing my 20-pound tandem stroller with my 52-pound grandson Dylan and 22-pound Cooper on board...loaded down with a pack of Pull-Up underwear, a pack of size 3 diapers, a big bunch of bananas, a gallon of apple juice, a half-gallon of Cranapple Grape juice, and a big box of Baby Wipe refills...

Am I crazy?!

"Talk in everlasting words..." I dedicate them all to YOU!

When I got close to 500 posts on this blog I was going to say, "Guess what?! I've written 500 posts!" And then real life interrupted yet again and I lost count and I just realized I'm up to 504. All told, with the entries from my old blog which is still in cyberspace hanging around SOMEWHERE....895 worth!...I have a grand total of 1399.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.

I sat in slack-jawed amazement when I had my Calculator on here figure it out for me -- at 5 am, I am not known for being particularly mathematical.

1399 posts. Countless words. Blood, sweat, tears, joy, contentment, angst, old-baggage, new-baggage, love, disappointment, grief, peace, frustration, exhaustion, exhilaration, silliness, hormonal fluctuations, recovery, health issues, grandbabies...not all necessarily in that order because I'm typing as they come to mind.

What it boils down to is a Life.

My Life.

And it's a wonderful one. A few bumps in the road, a few bruises to my spirit.

But I'm the Comeback Queen.

Every Woman's Lament...

"When I stop and ask myself, "What am I really hungry for?" the answer is always "I'm hungry for balance, I'm hungry to do something other than work." If you look at your overscheduled routine and realize, like I did, that you're just going and going and that your work and obligations have become a substitute for life, then you have no one else to blame. Only you can take the reins back. That's what I'm doing. These days I've put myself back on my own priority list; I try to do at least one hour of exercise five or six days a week. As I work out, eat healthfully, and reorder my life so there's time to replenish my energy, I continue to do the spiritual and emotional work to conquer this battle once and for all. My goal isn't to be thin. My goal is for my body to be the weight it can hold—to be strong and healthy and fit, to be itself. My goal is to learn to embrace this body and to be grateful every day for what it has given me. In 2009, dare I, dare all of us give ourselves all the love and care we need to be healthy, to be well, and to be whole? I know for sure that for each moment of this brand new year, I'm gonna try."

Oprah Winfrey

I am not a fan of Oprah Winfrey. I rarely ever watch her show, but I came across this quote in an article written by her about her weight gain and it sure struck a note within me. She's only a few months younger than I am. I thought it was worth sharing.

I soooooooooooooooo understand what she's saying here.

HA!

Mother's Day....

I snitched this photo from my daughter's blog...it's a sunset taken out of the window of the motel she stayed in at Lincoln City during her vacation a week or so ago. Isn't it gorgeous? Sometimes I think the weather on the Oregon Coast is more beautiful in May than it is in the summer!

I arrived home a little while ago from a very spur-of-the-moment trip to the beach with my daughter-in-law and grandsons for the weekend. It was wonderful...perfect weather - in May again, of course - and we were able to do a little shopping at the outlet mall. Well, my d-i-l did the shopping because I'm not much for retail shopping. I walked the boys around the mall in their tandem stroller and freed her up so she could shop in peace. Dylan and I took a drive to the beach itself on our own yesterday afternoon and spent two hours frolicking in the sand and the edge of the surf. He had the time of his life and we had an absolute blast! We also drove to Newport early yesterday morning and went to the Aquarium there. With Dylan being so enthralled with Spongebob Squarepants at the moment, seeing all the 'real' versions of his favorite cartoon characters - especially the jelly fish and octopus - really intrigued him. We made about half a dozen trips back to the octopus before we left. The 4 of us were tucked in bed around 6:30 last nite...first Cooper plopped out of bed on to the carpet around 3:30 am and Dylan followed suit a couple hours later. I told my d-i-l we're destined to have babies fall out of bed whenever we go anywhere. The last time we went for a weekend together, Dylan rolled out!When they awoke this morning around 6, she and I packed up and drove home. In the middle of the packing-up-and-heading-out bustle I piped up and said, "By the way, Happy Mother's Day!" and we both began to chuckle at my timing on that one! Arrived home safe and sound an hour or so ago.

What is not said in this one is volumes. So much going on in real life right now. But it was so nice to have this time away and alone with my d-i-l. We really needed time to reconnect. And the boys were so good.

So, Happy Mother's Day, all my moms out there in bloggy-land and cyberspace! I'm alone and it's peaceful as I write this. The sun's shining. I am counting my blessings.

Crown of Glory...

My daughter will recognize this. It's her hair. Well, what was her hair. She'd spent the past year or two growing it out so she could donate it to LocksofLove, an organization devoted to collecting human hair used in making wigs for children who've lost their hair for various medical reasons. She received a postcard in the mail the other day from them, thanking her for her generous donation. I wanted to thank her for her generous heart. It is moments like these as a mother where you know you've done something right in raising your kids.

Sleep, how I love thee....

Blessed sleep. I hate nites when it eludes me. I had one of those last nite, which surprised me because I was totally exhausted when my head hit the pillow. But I have a lot on my mind and I couldn't seem to shut it down so I tossed and I turned and my head churned. It seemed I sat up to see what time it was every half hour or so. These bouts of sleeplessness were a common thing back in my perimenopausal days, about halfway to 'the end'. I had something like 3 years where it felt like I was awake more than I was asleep. Since beginning the daily care of my grandsons sleep usually consumes me within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. Not so last nite.

We'll be keeping the grandboys overnite Thursday. Our son goes in for gall bladder surgery tomorrow morning and will most likely be released later in the day. At least they won't have to worry about juggling around schedules with trying to get the boys home. It's amazing to me how laporascopic surgery is so much simpler than the old form of surgery, so much less invasive. When Dear Hubby had a kidney removed back in 1977 they nearly cut him in half. As serious as his surgery was, I'm sure something like that is still a major operation. But to have a gall bladder removed? Just a couple of little holes barely a centimeter or two big and - in my case - they 'super glue' you with some kind of adhesive and you're done. The exception to my surgery was mine was an emergency and had to be done as quickly as possible so I spent a couple of nites in the hospital, the first nite because the operating schedule was so packed the day I was admitted, the second to make sure my labs came back ok since I didn't get in for surgery until after 7 pm. With our son...he had his attack, the medication they gave him killed the pain and got him to feeling better, but surgery was scheduled a week later because of his gall stones. I still find it mind-boggling that I had a complete hysterectomy last year as well and went home the next day! Good grief...some year in the future, we'll probably perform our surgeries at home ourselves with some kind of zapper we can point at ourselves and shoot!

My daughter-in-law is taking Friday off and will be coming by mid-morning to pick the boys up so I'm going to have an extra half-day off this weekend. Dear Hubby's planning on going bear hunting at the coast, leaving when he gets home after work, so I might-- just might -- have some time to myself. If I do I think I'll do my grocery shopping after the boys go home to free up my entire Saturday. It's supposed to be halfway nice so I'd love to get out and do some yard work. I'd also love to finish Maeve Binchy's book, "Heart and Soul". I read about half of it last Saturday when Dear Hubby and I went to his archery club and it's very good. My son called the other day and asked if we'd like to go to Madras in central Oregon for Memorial Day weekend with them and the boys but Dear Hubby's on call that weekend so we'll be sticking close to home. Which is fine with me. I hate traveling on big holiday weekends. Actually, I hate traveling most any old time. I am not a very good car-rider...I get carsick easily. In all truthfulness, I'm a diehard homebody. I don't need to go anywhere. But I will, if poked and prodded to do so. Just not very enthusiastically.

Today, it's raining. Yesterday the skies opened up several times and just dumped rain on us. I'm not too optimistic we'll find any sunbreaks to get out for a walk today. Dylan must've asked me a hundred times yesterday if we could go for a walk. He lives for them as much as I do. Sure beats staring at these walls all day.

It's 4:30. Better get on the ball. Maybe even try to do a few minutes of 'visiting' before I sign off. I've had to pare down my 'Coffee Break' list. I hardly have any on there and I still can't keep up with them. It seems like I'm constantly saying "Someday...." when it comes to doing things I used to love to do. I keep in mind "Someday this too shall pass." It helps.

Windows

Do you know, one song line that has stayed with me for decades since I first heard it was from a Cat Stevens' song..."Sad Lisa", I believe it's called. The line is: "Her eyes like windows, tricklin' rain..." I guess it registered in my poet's heart. Or maybe because he could've written that about me back at that stage in my life. I knew how sad Sad Lisa was. Yes, indeed. Tho I rarely ever EVER cried...that'd been teased and ridiculed out of me years prior to hearing that song for the first time when I was a teenager. Here are the lyrics:

She hangs her head and, cries on my shirt

She must be hurt very badly

Tell me what's making you sadly?

Open your door, don't hide in the dark

You're lost in the dark, you can trust me.

'Cause you know that's how it must be

Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa

Her eyes like windows, tricklin' rain

Upon her pain getting deeper

Though my love wants to relieve her

She walks alone from wall to wall

Lost in a hall, she can't hear me!

Though I know she likes to be near me

Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa

She sits in a corner, by the door

There must be more I can tell her

If she really wants me to help her

I'll do what I can to show her the way

And maybe one day I will free her

Though I know no one can see her

Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa

Thankfully, Life After High School changed.

But lately I've been going thru a kind of lethargy. Mental lethargy. Emotional lethargy. Whatever. I've not completely given up on writing here, but I find myself thinking on-and-off thru the day about what I want to write about when I finally find some time at the end of the day, only to find so little time I feel pressured within myself and can't get my thoughts collected enough to write anything. So I write nothing. Or very little, compared to my epic posts in the past. And I know this is why I have this bottled-up restlessness deep inside. Writing has always been my comfort, my sanity-saver, my sanctuary, my place where I find ME! Well, lately there hasn't been much me-finding time and...oh!...how I miss it.

I reprioritized my mindset to find time to reprioritize my life. I was like a globe spinning out of control. I gave up a lot of things I liked, but right now, for a lot of personal reasons, that's ok with me. But I'm finding I've got to wedge in some me-time. I've got to! Or I'll be back to sitting in the corner by the door, waiting for someone to show me the way. I know no one can see me...not the me who counts.

Housekeeping Tip

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle... So if unexpected guests arrive, They will think you've been sick and unable to clean

Dylan

Middle of the Nite Musings....

We're having one of our infamous slumber party nites, Dear Hubby and me. The phone rang at 1 am, our son calling from Emergency at a local hospital. He's having what they think is a gall bladder attack and he called asking us to pray for him. I can definitely relate to that, having had my own gall bladder removed last September. Once the phone rings in the middle of the nite like that, sleep is pretty much over with. Even so, Dear Hubby and I were both very tired when we went to bed and we lay there for a while, hoping we'd be able to grab a couple more hours. No such luck. So we got up at 2, put on the coffee, and here we are now at 3:21, wide awake and eating breakfast, getting a jump start on our day. I have a feeling we're in for a long one. Our son just called...still waiting for his x-ray. The Emergency department is busy tonite. Is it a full moon out there? I worked in hospitals for years and full moons always seemed to bring on extra-busy nites. I don't know why. Full moons brought out the crazies, too. I'm not sure what my schedule will be like with the boys today, if I'll have them at all or end up having them today and overnite. We'll see what unfolds when the sun rises.

I don't care how old they get -- my son is 30 now -- but our kids are forever our kids. Their problems become more adult, is all. They still call on us when the going gets rough. We just can't take away all the aches and pains, the disappointments, and fix their worlds like we could when they were little, when a kiss on a boo-boo or a quick cuddle was all they needed to make it all better. Oh, that Life could remain that simple. But it doesn't.

So...here I sit. Restless and anxious. Awaiting news.