I won't be able to post this view and call it home much longer. The days are winding down fast now as we prepare to move. My daughter-in-law finished up work at her old job on Friday and is now at home with my grandsons for the next couple of weeks so it's my turn to dig in and begin seriously sorting, purging, and packing. I have half a dozen boxes piled here in the dining room that hold the contents of my built-in china closet and my curio cabinet. I stopped at the Goodwill on the way to church this morning and dropped off two big garbage bags filled with cast-off clothes from mine and Dear Hubby's closet. Tomorrow I will tackle the shelves in it. My collection of Gladys Taber books I have stored up there. Three baseball gloves. My sewing kit. Several gift bags filled with other gift bags, gift tags, tissue paper, and whatnot. My paper bag filled with my old collection of paper dolls I've been keeping with me since I was a little girl and which have accompanied me on 10 moves in 36 years. There's a package of unused Christmas wrapping paper. More cobwebs and dust bunnies than I care to claim. Life's clutter.
I had meant to keep a running record of this huge odyssey in my life. I had thought I'd find time to put down my thoughts and feelings at least a few times per week. I've thought a lot of things these past couple of months. But I'm finding there's too much cluttering up my head as well as my closets and shelves. My head is a jumble of fractured fragments...of things to do that are forgotten almost as soon as they're thought of. Of loose ends that need to be taken care of. Things I need to get set up in Michigan so our transition there goes as smoothly as possible. Car insurance, home insurance, change of address, change of internet and TV service. Change, change, change. Nothing seems to stand still.
And yet, as things spiral around me in a whirlwind of activity, I feel myself in the calm of the storm. I begin to feel myself get stressed and then I think, "What's there to worry about?" Every single step of the way, every little detail, every big detail, has fallen right into place. Every bump in the road, every glitch...they seem to just smooth out and it's onward and forward. No looking back. People keep saying to me as I say more and more goodbyes the closer we come to our departure date, "You'll be back for visits!" I don't know that I will. I have this feeling deep inside that when I board that jet and head east, this part of my life will be behind me. I will treasure the memories, the friendships, the beauty of Oregon, the life I lived here....but the future lies ahead of me and that's where my focus is set now. My new home, my new city. I want to go. I want it done. I want to get on with it.